Work is For Suckers & My Soundtrack Posting

Hey Gang.

I hope all is well.

Oh month end reports…why do you interrupt my dreams and make my stomach hurt? Why do I travel so far and work so hard at a job that I don’t even want or like anymore? I like the people, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this…I guess it could always be worse…But that’s hardly comforting.

It’s weird how I can watch films like “Office Space” or “American Beauty” or “Fight Club”…where some working stiff suddenly decides he’s had enough. That’s it. He tells the boss to shove it and somehow manages to get away with it…(for the short term at least)…Wouldn’t it be nice to start again? What would you change? Some people say they have no regrets…I’ve heard (and often said) that a life without regrets is a life half lived…Learning from our mistakes so we’re not condemned to repeat them…blah, blah, blah…There’s that “Star Trek: The Next Generation” episode where Captain Picard wonders what his life might have been if he had done “what he was supposed to do”…(whatever that is)…Long story short, his life woulda been shit…small fish, large pond…etc…Sometimes I think I watch too much TV and too many movies and read too much...Maybe I should plan something that's not so passive and escapist...What about a real adventure!?! Oh wait..."Mars Attacks! " is on TV...I'll just post this...and then I'll do something exciting and/or meaningful...(I probably won't)...

It’s weird that going in to work and not having someone waiting to “pick my brain” or seeing my phone flashing because of countless messages that demand immediate attention puts me at ease somehow…Also it’s nice to open my work e-mail and to not have a bunch of stuff in there that…you guessed it…requires immediate action…Sometimes the little things help get you through the day…

But it's the weekend! Though most of it has already been planned, I have some time to rant here...

As for this Keeks’ soundtrack idea…I have been thinking about it a lot...Just for the record...I am not a rock. I am not an island. Isn't it weird how we can feel such a strong connection to lyrics written by some one else? Though most of us understand that some of these songs are written about universal truths and/or the human condition...there are still guys like that fellow in "Imagine" who was puzzled that John Lennon didn't write the songs "specifically for him"...Lennon invited him in for a meal anyway...

There are probably a lot more songs that could fit in here, but I'll try to keep it relatively brief...

When I was a kid…

Wouldn't It Be Nice ~ The Beach Boys

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong


Then, when testosterone and reason battled it out inside of me…

Going To Pasalcqua ~ Green Day

Here we go again, Infatuation touches me
just when I thought that it would end

Oh but then again
it seems much more than that
but I'm not sure exactly what you're thinking
Well I toss and turn all night
Thinking of your ways of affection
But to find that it's not different at all

Will I throw away my past mistakes
And contemplate my future?
That's when I say...
What the hey!
Would it last forever?
You and I together,
hand and hand
We run away
(far away)

I'm in for nasty weather
But I'll take whatever
you can give that comes my way
(far away)
…
(Repeat)

Some of the higher education years…

School Of Fish ~ Three Strange Days

For three strange days
I had no obligations
My mind was a blur
I did not know what to do
And I think I lost myself
When I lost my motivation
Now I'm walking 'round the city
Just waiting to come to For three strange

...

I've got to make it through
No matter what it takes
Oh I've got to make it through
These strange days

I lay down for a while
And I woke up on the ocean
Floating on my back
And staring at the gray
It was completely still
Except the pounding of my heart
Bringing me back to life
From three strange days …

I remember listening to the next record ("Breakfast in America") with my cousin in his parents' basement when we were little. I liked the song, but the lyrics didn’t really seem to matter at the time. Now they seem to sum things up so well…quite brilliantly, really.

The Logical Song ~ Supertramp

When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
a miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily,
joyfully, playfully watching me.

But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible,
logical, responsible, practical.
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,
clinical, intellectual, cynical.

There are times when all the world's asleep,
the questions run too deep
for such a simple man.
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
but please tell me who I am.

Now watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical,
liberal, fanatical, criminal.
Won't you sign up your name, we'd like to feel you're
acceptable, respectable, presentable, a vegetable!

At night, when all the world's asleep,
the questions run so deep
for such a simple man.
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
but please tell me who I am.


When I’m bummed out or angry (not Pantera angry, mind you), I tend to like listening to a sad song that explodes into the chorus…

F.O.D. ~ Green Day

(The part when it goes from calm to angry)
…

you're just a fuck
I can't explain it 'cause I think you suck
I’m taking pride
in telling you to fuck off and die

I've had this burning in my guts now for so long
my belly's aching now to say
I've taken pleasure in the masochistic youth
so listen up cause you might miss...

You're just…
a fuck…
I can't explain it 'cause I think you suck
I’m taking pride
in telling you to fuck off and die

good night…

Dead Horse ~ Guns N' Roses

Sick of this life
Not that you'd care
I'm not the only one
with whom these feelings I share

Nobody understands,
quite why we're here
We're searchin' for answers
That never appear

But maybe if I looked real hard I'd
I'd see you’re tryin' too
To understand this life,
That we're all goin' through

Then when she said she was gonna like wreck my car...I didn't know what to do

(Chorus:)
Sometimes I feel like I'm beatin' a dead horse
And I don't know why you'd be bringin' me down
I'd like to think that our love's worth a tad more
It may sound funny but you'd think by now
I'd be smilin'
I guess some things never change
Never change

I met an old cowboy
I saw the look in his eyes
Somethin' tells me he's been here before 'cause
experience makes you wise

I was only a small child
When the thought first came to me
That I'm a son of a gun
and the gun of a son that
brought back the devil in me

(Chorus)

It may sound funny but you'd think by now
I'd be smilin'
I guess some things never change
Never change

I ain't quite what you'd call an old soul
Still wet behind the ears
I been around this track a couple o' times
But now the dust is startin' to clear

Oh yeah!!!

(Chorus)

Sick of this life
Not that you'd care
I'm not the only one
With whom these feelings I share

Then there are those times when I feel like an old man with a misdirected sense of entitlement…(not impotent yet though)…

The Grouch ~ Green Day

I was a young boy that had big plans
Now I'm just another shitty old man
I don't have fun and I hate everything
This world owes me so fuck you

Glory days don't mean shit to me
I drank a six pack of apathy
Life's a bitch and so am I
The world owes me so fuck you

Wasted youth and a fistful of ideas
I had a young and optimistic point of view
Wasted youth and a fistful of ideas
I had a young and optimistic point of view

I've decomposed yet my gut's getting fat
Oh my God, I'm turning out like my Dad
I'm always rude, I've a bad attitude
The world owes me so fuck you

The wife's a nag and the kid’s fucking up
I don't have sex 'cause I can't get it up
I'm just a grouch sitting on the couch
The world owes me so fuck you

This is one of those song that reflects how you can see a guy who’s down on his luck and you wonder if that could be you one day…Great song. Great lyrics.

Android ~ Green Day

Hey old man in woman's shoes
I wonder if he knows I think he's crazy
When he was young did he have dreams
of wearing woman's shoes And being crazy

It's makes me wonder when
I grow to be that age
Will I be walking down the street
Begging for your spare change
Or will I grow that old?
Will I still be around?
The way I carry on
I'll end up six feet underground
And waste away...

When the old man was in school
Did the golden rule make him go crazy
Or did he hide away from hopes
Behind a smile and smoking dope
It's crazy

It seems so frightening
Time passes by like lightning
Before you know it you’re struck down

I always waste my time on
My chemical emotions
It keeps my head spinning around

Waste away.

I often try to start the day by listening to the next song…either before work (but Stern usually takes that slot…and now that his commercial breaks are shorter, there isn’t much time to sneak it in) or it’s the first song I play once I get to work…on my iPod mini…It's just a lovely song that can always pick up my spirits…

Here Comes The Sun ~ The Beatles

Here comes the sun,
here comes the sun,
And I say
it’s all right.

Little darling
it’s been a long cold lonely winter,
Little darling
it feels like years since it’s been here.

Here comes the sun,
here comes the sun,
And I say
it’s all right.

Little darling
the smiles returning to their faces,
Little darling
it seems like it’s years since it’s been here,

Here comes the sun,
here comes the sun,
And I say
it’s all right.

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes. (4 Times)

Little darling
I feel that ice is slowly melting,
Little darling
it seems like years since it’s been clear

Here comes the sun,
here comes the sun,
It’s all right,
it’s all right.

This next song is just great any old time. I think I could listen to it repeating all day…for about 3 days in a row maybe…

She Came In Through the Bathroom Window ~ The Beatles

Oh look out
She came in through the bathroom window,
Protected by a silver spoon
But now she sucks her thumb and wonders
By the banks of her own lagoon

Didn’t anybody tell her
Didn’t anybody see
Sunday’s on the phone to Monday
Tuesday’s on the phone to me.

She said she’d always been a dancer
She worked at fifteen clubs a day
And though she thought I knew the answer
Well I knew I could not say.
And so I quit the police department
And got myself a steady job
And though she tried her best to help me
She could steal but she could not rob.

This one also just kinda sums things up quite nicely…

In My Life ~ The Beatles

There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed,
Some forever, not for better,
Some have gone and some remain.

All these places had their moments,
With lovers and friends I still can recall,
Some are dead and some are living,
In my life I’ve loved them all.

But of all these friends and lovers,
There is no one compares with you,
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new.

Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before,
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more.

This one’s like the updated equivalent…

Good Riddance (Time of your Life) ~ Green Day

Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

So take the photographs
And still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf
of Good health and good time

Tattoos of memories
And dead skin on trial
For what it's worth
It was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable

But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

And this one for Lasagna…(except the remote control part)…

Grow Old With You ~ Adam Sandler

I wanna make you smile
whenever you're sad
Carry you around
when you're arthritis is bad

Oh all I wanna do
is grow old with you

I'll get you medicine
when your tummy aches
Build you a fire
if the furnace breaks

Oh, it could be so nice
growing old with you

I'll miss you
kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

Need you
Feed you
I'll even let you hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes
in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed
when you've had too much to drink

Oh, I could be the man
who grows old with you

I wanna grow old with you

As for my funeral, It could probably be

Another One Bites the Dust ~ Queen

...

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone
and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

...

Anyway, I hope that didn't suck too badly...I tried to think of songs that would capture the mood of the periods in my life (as I recall them)...To be honest, at this point in my life, I could have gone with all Beatles stuff or all Green Day and still formed a pretty good list...But this is as concise as I get...I was thinking of just using "The Logical Song"...It sums up life in a nutshell.

Future Posts:
I am also planning a big post on that James Frey guy...Oprah took him apart the other day and I'd like to comment on it a bit ...while it's still somewhat relevant...But that's another story for another time...

Take care out there.

Your Pal,

Zambo.

P.S.
I'm just looking in my iTunes Library and there are so many songs that could apply to the soundtrack of my life...Though I deviated from your format, I hope that was OK, Keeks.

I'm "It" Again...

Greetings Tag Fans!

My pal Sherry has tagged me.

This one’s about guilty pleasures…I wanted to ensure that I did this right, so I searched on the web for a good definition of “Guilty Pleasures”. This guy, Dean, had a pretty good explanation. The thing about it is that one should sort of be embarrassed by the item, as it may be perceived as “…lowbrow, or unintelligent, or uncool.” I’m not sure if I’d say that I’m overly embarrassed of much of the stuff that I’m into…That being said…without further ado…Here are the ones I’ll share…

1. TV ~ The sheer amount of television that I watch is alarming and, I suppose, somewhat embarrassing…If I could, I would watch TV all the time (movies too)…I’d never leave the house if I didn’t “have to”…I love to watch most Reality TV stuff…largely to see how people’s true nature still comes through…even though they know they’re being observed…I also enjoy watching “24”…I shouldn’t, but it’s just so darn exhilarating! Highly improbable scenarios are wedged into a 24 hour period…Jack Bauer’s the only one who you’re pretty sure won’t die…but eventually, he might get smoked…It’s what they call “crack TV”…
   
2. Baked Goods…Banana Chocolate chip cake in particular…Chocolaty baked goods…Oh baked goods…Why must you taunt me so?
   
3. Howard Stern…there are a lot of people who don’t get why I like the show so much…I challenge anyone to name a better interviewer. I am not really embarrassed about it, but I do find myself often having to defend myself for liking it. A lot of the ladies I know claim that they wouldn’t have guessed that a fellow as sophisticated, enlightened and classy as myself would enjoy The Howard Stern Show…
   
4. UFC Events ~ I enjoy ordering Pay-per-view Ultimate Fighting Events and inviting pals over to watch. We talk shit and eat unhealthy foods and drink unhealthy drinks…while we watch grown men beat each other into submission or unconsciousness. It’s great fun!
   
5. Laptop ~ Spending any free time I may have at home using my laptop…while watching TV…I suspect that my sperm may be further damaged in some way because of this…Said laptop is used for all sorts of things…some productive and others not-so-much…
   

I have pre-tagged Nicki for this one…
Beatdogg said he’d do it too…
I’ll see if Keeks and Gobbles are up for it too…
How about Stringman?
Are you up for another tag, gang?

(My good pal Keeks had a pretty cool idea for the soundtrack of your life. I will be doing it very soon, but you’re invited to check it out and say “hi” to Keeks…if you’re interested. Once I get this latest tag done and post some of my recent thoughts, I’ll be all over that)…

There’s a lot of Stern news to report…His interview with Martha Stewart’s daughter Alexis the other day was great! She answered pretty much all of his questions.

Yesterday they played some clips from the Adult Video News Awards…a highlight from that was when host Craig Fitzsimmons said:

I hear they’re about to recognize “Best Double Anal Scene”…Listen, any woman who’s willing to put two dicks in her asshole…Give her a plaque! Give ‘em all a plaque! I’m married now…so I’m lucky to get single vaginal.

Anyway, there’s a guy’s site where he transcribes each Stern show…if you’re interested.

I saw “The Aristocrats” last night…(Not to be confused with Disney's "The Aristocats"...That would be a huge mistake!). Maybe I'll post more details when I have more time…I think that I had built it up so much that I was mildly disappointed at first…but it’s quite funny… I used to watch A&E’s “An Evening at the Improv” every night when I was younger…So I recognized many of the less popular comics in the film…There’s some dry stuff, as can be expected when comedy is being discussed…Why is that? Sometimes people try to break down why stuff is funny…that’s not funny…But I recommend it if you like filthy humour…and the discussion of it…

Basically the joke is about a family act that goes to an agent’s office to try to get him to book them…Then you throw in as many filthy and disgusting acts as you can…then the joke ends with the agent asking what the act’s called…the answer: The Aristocrats! Ta da!

This one guy I’ve never seen before cracked me up with almost everything he said…Writer/Producer Dana Gould…

Some people, when they tell it, really focus on the fecal matter. Other people really focus on the incest. And, to me, in my own personal life…those two are rarely, if ever separate.

Buy it or rent it today!!!

That’s it for now.

Your Pal,

Zambo.

Out of the Loop...

Hi kids.

I hope that all is well.

I've been out of the loop for a few days. Lots has been going on...

So it would appear that my pal Spider Walk has tagged me.

I'm on my lunch...so this is gonna be a quick and dirty post. (Coincidentally, it's a sex-related tag)...

The rules: The tagged victim lists 8 different points of their perfect lover/partner, mentioning the sex of said partner.

Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on a post letting them know they've been tagged.

If tagged before, no need to contribute.

Target of My Perfect Partner:

Sex: Female

1. Clean (hygienic and preferably no seedy past/baggage if possible);
2. "Dirty" (as in sexually open-minded...naughty might be a better term);
3. Attentive (as in supportive and generous);
4. Confident (independent and self-assured...not arrogant...that gets old fast);
5. Quiet (honest and communicative, but aware of when to stop talking);
6. Sense of humour (If she's not that funny, she should at least be able to "get" my lame jokes);
7. Sleazy...Demure (see "Total Recall");
8. Sex appeal or at the very least cuteness (let's face it, it's important...even though it does fade).

There. I think that's all.

I would like the following people to do this too (If you don't have a blog set up, then you can do it in my comments section):

1. Beatdogg
2. Gobbles
3. Keeks
4. S*
5. Ra
6. Stringman
7. Mel
8. 8th Dwarf (no fixed address)
9. Captain Oreo (no fixed address)
10. Chico (no fixed address)

If you break this chain, then horrible things shall befall you and your loved ones...
(Not really...but it might be fun to do)...

If I didn't list you and you would like to do this, please feel free...as I suspect some of my pals won't take it seriously...or even do it at all...

Take care out there.

Your Pal,

Zambo.

Update

Hello there.

Do you ever have those days where you just don’t want anyone to talk to you? Yeah…Me too. Today was one of those days. I just wanna go to work, do the work that I had planned on doing, then go straight home and not have to talk to anybody. Billy on “Six Feet Under” mentioned in one episode that “Clothes don’t feel right today”…Of course, he was off his meds and walking around in his tighty-whiteys when he said this…but I knew exactly what he meant. Interaction just doesn’t feel right today…But I guess most of us have to do it. We go through the niceties and the courtesies…but sometimes it is a problem and no I don’t have time to help you and get the fuck away from me! Anyway, it was almost 5pm when I wrote this and I think I managed to do one of the things that I had intended to get done today. I have a rather lengthy “to do” list, but I guess that’ll have to wait…It seems that I’m constantly re-prioritizing my “primary action items” and not really getting things done. I really should just let go or push back and only do what I can do, given the constraints offered with each job I receive…but I have this nagging inner voice that tells me to do everything right…or at least to the best of my abilities…whether it’s a $1 job or a job worth thousands of dollars to the corporation…Needless to say, I think need a new job…We played the lottery today…our little office group…I’m pretty sure we won’t win…we never seem to win…but if we don’t play, then there’s no chance…no hope, right? One could argue for either side of this, I guess…

That’s my rant for the moment. Let’s move on…

I saw that “Ocean’s Twelve” was on one of the movie channels the other day and I watched some of it. I found myself once again drawn to the lovely Catherine Zeta-Jones…uh…Douglas…I remember the first time I saw her in that Zorro movie and I marveled at her beauty. Anyway…Now when I look at her, I still think she’s quite pretty, but the fact that she’s with Michael “Old Enough To Be Her Father” Douglas…I feel kinda grossed out. I picture him climbing all over her with that “Basic Instinct” ass and I start to feel a bit queasy…Don’t get me wrong…He’s a pretty good actor and I’ve enjoyed his work over the years (“The Game” and “Falling Down” and “Traffic” are some of my favourites…Even those “Romancing the Stone” films)…and I don’t blame him…He’s a lucky man and he’ll have someone around to change his diaper in the next few years…I know all about “you’re only as young as you feel” and all that other crap about age not mattering… It just doesn’t look right to see them together…Anyway, all the best to them and their kids…hopefully he lives to see them graduate...from kindergarten. He'll be 62 this year! He and Catherine share the same birthday... September 25…but 25 years apart...

“Lost” was on tonight. It was a pretty good episode…There’s a war a-brewin’… Evangeline Lilly is another true beauty…yet now when I look at her, I think of that hobbit, Dominic Monaghan all over her…and again, I don’t feel too good about it…maybe I have some sort of problem…or maybe I'm jealous or superficial or whatever...but it just seems so wrong in the natural order of things.

Ewww.

The Pitt-Jolie romance thing, though over-exposed, seems more in keeping with the way things "should be"…in our vapid, shallow world.

The DaVinci Code

Tom Hanks seems, to me, a horrible casting choice to play Robert Langdon in “The DaVinci Code” ...His fake hair looks all wrong and in the book, Langdon is described as looking like a younger Harrison Ford...He's supposed to be a swimmer who catches the ladies' eye...Hanks with his fake mullet hair weave thing is laughable. I would think that most women would describe Hanks as "nice" rather than "handsome" or even "hot"...unless he was all sweaty...then people might say, "I think he's hot"...Also, his son is a hack.


Stern Update

If anybody's interested, the Stern show revelations are listed below:

1. I cheated on my wife and she caught me... SCOTT
2. I once hid in a bathroom closet and pleasured myself when my family members went to the bathroom... SAL
3. In the last year, I got a girl pregnant and had to pay for her abortion... RICHARD
4. I think I'm addicted to porn - I jerk off twice a day and prefer to masturbate than have real sex... JASON
5. I have spent well over $10,000 on internet porn... JD
6. My buddy and I once ordered massage girls to our hotel room, but they ripped us off and we were left staring at each other in our underwear... GARY
7. I have pleasured myself with meat and vegetables... ROBIN
8. I have a half-sister I've never met and don't want to... FRED
9. I've had cosmetic surgery... HOWARD
10. A guy once blew his load on my chest... ARTIE
11. I once had my stomach pumped for alcohol poisoning and when I woke up in the hospital, an acquaintance of the same sex was fondling my genitals... BENJY
    

Though many of these were pretty lame and the explanations were somewhat disappointing, it was truly captivating radio.

1. Scott’s story was pretty good.
2. Sal’s was predictable and further proves that he should be institutionalized.
3. Richard used this sad story to explain that he broke through the condom with his large penis.
4. It was determined that Jason has just lost interest in his girlfriend.
5. They turned JD’s somewhat boring revelation into a more interesting one…he likes those webcam sites, where you tell the girl what to do…one story involved a girl, a dog and peanut butter…I think I’ve said enough.
6. Gary’s was boring.
7. Robin was totally embarrassed and felt that many of the other revelations sucked. Songs and gags have since been written to mock her…
8. Fred’s hurt him…but it wasn’t a very good revelation.
9. Howard’s was kinda obvious…Robin was really pissed at him.
10. Artie had a pretty great orgy story…
11. Nobody wanted to hear Benjy’s story.
    

Today former super model Rachel Hunter refused to appear on the show and walked off. Howard totally flipped out, yelling “Who the hell does she think she is?!?” and other things that I won’t mention…(The “C” word got used a bit).
Oh…and former mobster and “Goodfella” Henry Hill called in and it appears that he was drugged and ass-raped on video.

Catch Stern in the new issue of “Esquire” if you’re interested. There are some pretty good articles in it, but the Stern stuff is pretty much a rehashing of stuff that fans have already heard ad nauseam.

King Kong is on the cover of the current “Rolling Stone” and there’s a little piece on Billie Joe from Green Day in there too.



“The Aristocrats” comes out next week. I have been waiting to see it for quite some time now. I think it’s gonna be a keeper.

That’s about it for now..

Take care out there.

Your Pal,

Zambo.

MLK Jr.'s B-Day

Hello out there.

Our pals in the US have the day off tomorow. Though it's Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday today, the holiday is observed on the third Monday of January each year.

I would like to think that we all know at least a little bit about Dr. King, his famous speech and his contributions to the "exceptional advancement of the principles of human liberty." (If not, and you would like to know more, click the links above).

He won the 1964 Nobel Peace Prize, and in 1965 the American Jewish Committee presented Dr. King with the American Liberties Medallion.

U2 wrote the song "Pride (In the Name of Love)" as a tribute to Dr. King and his work. (But the song contains a historical error...the first line of the last chorus ~ which references Dr. King's assassination ~ reads "Early morning, April 4/Shot rings out in the Memphis sky"...but Dr. King was killed shortly after 6 PM - early evening. U2 glory hound/leader Bono admits he "screwed up" when writing the lyrics...and now performs the song live with the correction. Nice work, Bono. Thanks for putting forth some effort).

(The above information was condensed from the Wikipedia entry for Dr. King ~ click first link above for more information).

Anyway, maybe we should take a moment to consider how far we've come or haven't come since the day Dr. King gave his "I had a dream" speech.

(1 minute later).

I would like to think that he might have seen the humour in the Stern billboard that was taken down in Chicago...but I guess we'll never know...

That's all for now.

Take care out there.

Your Pal,

Zambo.

Recent Ape Sitings and Other Pictures

Hello Again...

I was just going through some of the digital pictures I've taken recently (and not so recently) and thought I'd grab a few to post...

The breathtaking Evangeline Lilly was just on "Jimmy Kimmel Live", and I'm also listening to today's Stern show on my new wireless headphones...(I feel like I should be wearing roller skates with these things)...

Anyway, the first picture is of this apartment building in Niagara Falls that we drove by during the holidays...It was pretty well-decorated considering they had to co-ordinate all the units...Anyone who's ever lived in a condo and tried to organize anything will tell you how difficult it can be most times...



Our next series of pix is of one of my all-time favourite houses...This place just screams "Fuck You!" when you look at it. I can only speculate that the owner doesn't care what others think...and I admire that. If you're facing this house, the neighbour's yard to the left is so well-maintained and tidy...The mean part of me finds this to be so funny. I wouldn't want this guy as my neighbour, but that doesn't mean I can't laugh a the poor hump who has to live next door to him...

This was a drive-by shoot, approaching from the right...There's a narrow path up the middle of the heaps of trash that I assume leads to the front door. Pretty sweet, huh?

Ape Sighting ~ "The 40 Year Old Virgin"

Below is a series of pix from the film where the little girl is holding up a Dr. Zaius "action figure", while her sister opens up a Spider-man toy...

Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius...

He's still in frame...

Then he's gone...

Chimp-Ts ~ "King Kong - Peter Jackson's Production Diaries" (2005)

I know it's a giant gorilla movie, but Andy "Kong/Lumpy" Serkis is wearing a T-shirt with a chimp as Che Guevara on it...

I thought it was pretty cool...

I didn't realize that poinsettias were shrubs (tree-like) until I saw my mom's...

She's also got an orange tree in her sunroom...

Oh...and here's a pic from "The Family Guy" where the monkey fell on that luckless Japanese guy...(8th Dwarf referred to it a while back...I took a pic of the TV)...

I think that's it for right now...

Take care out there.

Your Pal,

Zambo.

Finally Friday!

Hello out there in Blogsville.

Hopefully all is well where you are.

Though I realize that time is a constant, this week seemed to last forever. (I even had Monday off!) Admittedly, I haven't been getting much sleep and Lasagna told me that she believes that I would probably choose Stern over her...(I guess I shouldn't have paused to think about it). I guess I'm a bit obsessed with the Stern show on satellite. It's still fresh and I want to hear as much as possible...Plus he's got 24 hour programming on two channels...

I intentionally didn't mention Stern in my last post because I don't want to be like those people on "Survivor" who win a feast and then come back and tell the others how good it was...Perhaps some folks couldn't get it and don't want to hear about it...But maybe some of you who don't have it would like updates...Maybe some people don't even care...I should probably shift my focus to something more productive...

I have a couple of ideas for entertaining posts that I will try to work on this weekend...
We here at Zambocorp have always tried to put quality first...and apes...always apes...

So stay loose and keep limber 'cause you never know what's around the corner.

Until we meet again...

Your Pal,

Zambo.

A Less Than Uplifting Post Today...

Hello.

Whenever I see Christmas trees discarded in people's yards after the holiday season, it reminds me of the following exchange from "Fight Club" :

Marla Singer: I got this dress at a thrift store for one dollar.
Narrator: It was worth every penny.
Marla Singer: It's a bridesmaid's dress. Someone loved it intensely for one day, and then tossed it. Like a Christmas tree. So special. Then, bam, it's on the side of the road.
[Grabs Narrator's crotch]
Marla Singer: Tinsel still clinging to it. Like a sex crime victim. Underwear inside out. Bound with electrical tape.
Narrator: Well, then it suits you.
Marla Singer: You can borrow it sometime.

...and then I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

In other news, it would seem that Oprah's little sweetheart James Frey wasn't telling the truth after all...See the link: 'Inspiring' story crumbles into a million little pieces.

Anyway, "Lost" was pretty good...but I can't help but feel that it's going to be disappointing in the end...We'll see. Hopefully, I'm wrong.

That's all I got right now.

Take it easy out there.

Your Pal,

Zambo.

Tagged Again

Hello Again.

I've been tagged by my new pal SPIDER WALK to list three things you don't know about me...This might be trickier than it seems (because usually the things most people don't know about me are the things I don't want most people to know about me)...

Also SPIDER WALK, I haven’t really done any of the things on Stern’s revelation list…A tomato’s a fruit right? Yeah…No…

This was my “safe list”, as most of the things that first came to mind were sexual in nature and there were other things I’m not ready to put out there yet…Plus, my lawyer’s out of town, so I can’t consult with him on a few things…

1. I’m left-handed, but fairly ambidextrous;
   
2. I often gag when I brush my teeth…Major gag reflex. (Doctors usually think I’m exaggerating…until they try to put that tongue depressor thing in my mouth);
   
3. My dad and I once saved a guy from drowning while we were on vacation in Florida. The guy didn’t know how to swim and he had ventured out too far, then panicked. We didn’t make a big deal out of it. All in a day’s work.

I gotta admit that I sorta took the easy way out of that one…I wrote out several things, then when I re-read them, I didn’t think it was such a good idea to post them…

Who should I tag?…

How about...

Keeks

S*

Gobbles

You’d better do it, you punks!
(Just kidding. But seriously…Do it).

Ms. L, I’d tag you too, but somebody got to you first…

I think that’s it for today. I’m spent.

Take care out there.

Your Pal,

Zambo.

Stern's SIRIUS Debut

Hi Friends and Well-Wishers.

I hope that everyone had a pleasant weekend!

If you're not a Stern fan, you might not care about any of the following information:

Anyway, I took today off so that I could listen to Stern’s first broadcast on satellite radio. (I know some might think that I’m a loser for doing this…Oh well. At least I don’t have to go to work). It was quite good. A lot like the old show, but more uninhibited. Those seven words you can't say on radio don't exist here.

Stern also addressed the marriage rumours of late. He announced that he did marry Beth O! Then he went around the room, allowing everyone to comment. He then said that he was NOT, in fact, married. That was just a rumour. While he was in Mexico, a couple got married on the beach where he was…that’s it.

The revelations were announced today! They'll reveal who said what next Monday.

The contestants are: Howard, Robin, Artie, Fred, Gary, J.D., Scott “the engineer” Salem, Sal, Richard, Jason and Benjy.

The revelations:

1. I cheated on my wife and she caught me;
2. I once hid in a bathroom closet and pleasured myself when my family members went to the bathroom (an aunt and a cousin);
3. In the past year, I got a girl pregnant and paid for the abortion;
4. I think I’m addicted to porn. I jerk off twice a day and prefer masturbating to having sex;
5. I have spent well over $10,000 on internet porn;
6. My buddy and I once ordered massage girls to our hotel room, but they ripped us off and we were left standing there in our underwear;
7. I have pleasured myself with meat and vegetables;
8. I have a half-sister that I haven’t met, nor do I want to;
9. I’ve had cosmetic surgery;
10. A guy once blew his load on my chest;
11. I once had my stomach pumped for alcohol poisoning, and when I woke up, an acquaintance (of the same sex) was fondling my genitals.

Some are outrageous, but others don’t seem so bad…I mean we’ve all done most of those things, right? Oh…Anyway, it’ll be interesting to hear the explanations…Whoever masturbated while watching relatives relieve themselves (if it’s not Sal) will probably be mocked forever…If it is Sal, it’s not so surprising because he’s fucked in the head…Also, Benjy tends to say things to get attention...

(Sorry to my pal 8th Dwarf who wasn't able to get the SIRIUS equipment. They were all sold out in this area...Stern mentioned that there are currently 3.3 Million subscribers...up from the 600,000 prior to his move)....

*~*~*~
For my pal S*...(and anyone who doesn't know who Kenny and Spenny are)...

Click on the image for more info on the show

They made the independent film "Pitch" about what they went through to try to get their script sold in Hollywood. (It was about a mob boss who goes in for a routine hernia operation and gets accidentally gets a sex-change operation)...I didn't realize it was them until I watched all the season 1 dvds...Which were awesome, by the way!

Also, this is back bacon…

the link leads to the following definition:

Canadian bacon = back bacon = bacon (British) Notes: Canadian bacon tastes like ham and is much leaner than American bacon. It's made from pork loin that's been smoked and cured. Note that Irish bacon is also sometimes called back bacon. Substitutes: Irish bacon OR ham OR pancetta OR bacon (not as lean)

Anyway, that's all for now.

I'd better get up and do something.

Talk to you later.

Your Pal,

Zambo.

Irreverence Over the Years

Hello out there.

I hope that all is going well. I'm glad it's almost the weekend.

Anyway, a while ago I saw the film "Lenny", with Dustin Hoffman playing Lenny Bruce, and it was pretty good as far as biopics go. Since Bruce died before I was even born, I never really got a chance to see him work. Sure, I've seen a lot of footage and read some stuff, but the times were different while he was doing his thing.

I had always associated Howard Stern's battles with censorship and the FCC with Mr. Bruce's struggles in terms of entertainers who were ahead of their time and had to overcome many obstacles...(Sadly, Mr. Bruce died of a drug overdose at the age of 40).

I watched Lenny Bruce Without Tears a few days ago. The following are mostly quotes I transcribed as I watched:

Narrator: “But what really happened…what really went down in Philadelphia was that Lenny Bruce had been identified as sick. In two years he was arrested a half a dozen times across the country. And banned in London and Australia. Something was happening. It was more than just saying “fuck” or “cocksucker”…Still, Lenny believed in the courts. Believed he would be vindicated…”

Lenny had become a target…

“I must say that I think that bringing this action against Bruce is completely absurd…especially in the town of Chicago. Which...presents to the innocent visitor an array of vice at its most squalid and awful…for money. And in a city in which all that is tolerated, a city famous for violence and corruption…to pick on this nervous, chain-smoking, neurotic moralist…and blame him for obscenity seems to me ridiculous. If I might summarize it, you know there’s an impulse in all of us, if we have a hollow tooth, we can’t resist putting our tongue into it. It hurts, but we keep on doing it. Now I think that Bruce’s particular sort of comment on life, the sick humour, is a tongue the hollow tooth; a tongue in his own hollow tooth as a man…and a tongue in the hollow tooth of a sick society. If society’s sick, you can’t really blame a person who wishes to comment satirically on it, for producing a sick commentary.”

Social Commentator, Malcolm Muggeridge.

Then there’s an audio clip of Bruce lamenting that he picked on the wrong god, “… I picked on the Western God, the cute God, the ‘in’ God, the Kennedy God… and that’s where I screwed up”…

“I don’t think Lenny Bruce himself is dangerous. I think, however, the trend of Lenny Bruce is. I think the general thing that he represents is. I think it could lead eventually to totalitarianism. I think it could eventually lead to a new kind of Jew-burning. I think it could lead to a new kind of gas ovens. The gas ovens…and the new Jews, of course, being the ‘unhip’. Those who dare to say that they did not particularly admire Bruce or his type. In short, it’s gonna be a great war of the sensitives vs. the insensitives. And the insensitives are defined by the sensitives. And I think in the end it could be a very very interesting problem will result [sic.]. If…if our world continues to become more and more complicated and less and less easy to cope with by the individual.”

Jean Shepard, Radio Commentator

According to Martin Garbus, Bruce’s final attorney, traditionally, most misdemeanor cases take anywhere from ten minutes to an hour to try and the first time offender wouldn’t have served one minute for what he did. His case went on for months and he was sentenced to four months in the work house…

“There was community pressure and there was public pressure. In the sense that the overwhelming percentage of the population of Middle America, the silent majority, wanted Lenny Bruce prosecuted and they wanted him punished because his words were offensive and because his ideas hurt the establishment and wounded the establishment. He said things the establishment didn’t want said. For that reason I feel there was a compulsion to prosecute him and to punish him. And we did. He didn’t harm anybody, he didn’t commit an assault, he didn’t steal, he didn’t engage in any conduct which directly harmed someone else. So therefore he was punished first and foremost because of the words he used.”

Vincent Cuccia, Former Assistant D.A., NYC

A broken, bloated mess, he’d been essentially blacklisted and was filmed doing an interview that's rather uncomfortable to watch…in Montréal, I think. Bruce said, “I’m not consistent, everybody’s ever-changing…I am what I am. I’m Popeye the sailor man. Ooh ooh”…He was clearly strung out on something and though he was still sorta funny…it’s sad and uncomfortable to see him this way…You can't help but feel bad for the guy...

The next scene is his Hollywood home, as he’s lying dead and naked on the floor…nothing but a beard and what looks like the belt of a bathrobe tied around his arm to get a vein...his drug kit is in the frame of that famous death photo (which I won't post here)...

~*~*~

Despite the way things ended for Bruce, one will notice some interesting similarities throughout the careers of Lenny Bruce and Howard Stern. I find it interesting that Bruce ended up the way he did, and Stern is given a chance to start anew. Perhaps this is a testament to Stern's resilience...(or maybe things are just a bit easier now in some ways). Maybe Bruce felt so disenfranchised that he just packed it in...or perhaps it was an accidental overdose...Whatever the case, dead is dead.

As some of us follow Stern to a new frontier of radio, it will be interesting to see how the "rules" that govern satellite radio will evolve to silence him there too. There's a rumour that Canadians will be legitimately "allowed" to subscribe to Stern's program in May. Once all the buzz settles down, perhaps someone will lift the ban. (I imagine that a lot of revenue for SIRIUS Canada has been lost because of this. Serves them right, I guess). And what of our American friends who cannot afford to pay for a radio service? Avid Stern fans are pretty much left to settle for a lesser form of radio entertainment...but it's free...

Whether you like or dislike Howard Stern, his move to satellite was the direct result of being strong-armed by the powers that be. "They" wanted to silence him, so he's going to where "their" rules don't apply...yet. He should be admired for his moxie (which I had always thought was spelled "moxy" until a few minutes ago...Thanks Moxy Früvous) if nothing else...And Canadians who don't like him should consider the fact that we are forbidden from listening (legally) even if we wanted to. I'm not sure what that says exactly, but it says something about us being "strong-armed" by the powers that be...So you can just dismiss it all as an idle waste of time or you can fight/protest for something...or you can just get it illegally and hope that others will sort it out. (I have gone with option 3)...There are probably other courses of action, but I'm tired...

Yet TV seems to be governed in sort of a different way...It’s weird that there was a time when one couldn’t say the word “ass” on TV. Then there came a time when one was allowed to…provided that the reference stayed on the surface. Either, “Don’t be an ass” or “I’ll kick your ass”…After that there came a time when one could refer to things "in the ass”…Like “Don’t make me break my foot off in your ass” or you could hear Red Forman telling Eric that he’d find his foot "up his ass" if he didn’t shape up, or whatever. Maybe one day, there will be sit coms full of graphic anal sex and no one will even flinch...We'll see how it goes...

I was hoping for a short post tonight, but it got away from me a bit. Sorry. If you've read this far, thanks. it's about 1:39 am...Hopefully this makes sense...

Time for bed soon.

Stern was on "Larry King Live" tonight, and he mentioned Lenny Bruce. As I had indicated in an earlier post, I wanted to discuss the comparisons then...but didn't. Anyway, I almost forgot about the interview tonight! I must be slipping. I was listening to “SUPERFAN ROUND TABLE”, which was pretty good…and luckily Ralph had to leave early to get Howard ready for the interview or I would have forgotten all about it.

I wonder if members of the media actually hope and pray for disaster to strike so that they can have “job security”…When nothing’s doing in the news, do you think that some reporter somewhere is praying for a tsunami or mine to collapse? If so, should we believe that “God” would answer such a prayer? As I was waiting for the Stern interview, I watched a few minutes of the CNN lead up…Pat Robertson mentioned that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's stroke might have been divine retribution. Don’t believe me? Check out “Robertson Suggests God Smote Sharon”...

That should just about sum things up for the moment...I'll probably re-read this in the morning and adjust accordingly...or delete altogether...

I'll leave you with this image of a billboard in Chicago that was taken down the other day because of complaints...I can see it from both sides, I guess, but I just wondered what others think...if anyone reads this far.

OK. I'm done now.

Take care out there.

Your Pal,

Zambo.

I Can't Wait For This Week To End...

Hello Out There.

I hope that you're having a better week than mine so far...Nothing too important ~ just work stress...It's nice to be off for a while, but coming back is always difficult...

Today really sucked...As did yesterday...It's hard to stay positive, but I'm doing my best.

I sketched this on the back of one of those gray "WHILE YOU WERE OUT" notepads while I was waiting for my computer to perform a simple task...(it didn't do what I needed it to do, by the way)...


Anyway, I think it pretty much sums up my mood today...Perhaps tomorrow will be better.

Time to go home now...I like it better there.

Take care out there.

Your Pal,

Zambo.

Staying Positive...Letting Go...

Dearest readers,

I hope that my first post of 2006 finds you well. I had initially planned on venting a lot of negative, angry stuff today...but then I took my pal Ra's advice and decided to let it go. (I wrote with a lot of rage earlier, but decided to keep that to myself...Writing about it did help to let off some steam though).

Anyway, I wanted to mention that I watched “King Kong - Peter Jackson's Production Diaries”…I enjoy the behind-the-scenes stuff…and there’s a part where Colin “son of Tom” Hanks is complaining that he’s had to sport his 1930s hairstyle for a long time…(He’s lucky to even be employed, but that's another story for another time)…Anyway, he mentions that Jack Black did a very smart thing by going with a wig…They cut to Jack’s wig...then to Jack as he's about to get it “installed” and he explains:

“It wasn’t really a move on my part to get a wig...but it worked out to my advantage…‘cause you throw on the wig and it gives me a 1930s hairdo…Then you take it off and look what’s under it: [He smugly points to his hair, then looks seriously into the camera] Rock ‘N Roll…”

Black with Peter Jackson, wearing 1930s wig...

What lies beneath: Rock 'N Roll!

There’s also a funny segment on disc one where a website has indicated that Black is 5’4” and he pretends to take great offense. He goes around telling people how outraged he is…He then proposes a “period” footwear choice to Peter Jackson. He lifts his foot and puts it on a table, displaying a snazzy shoe with a 3” heel…Then they cut to him strutting around the set...funny...( I must admit that he reminded me a little of a huskier version of Prince).

A funny picture of Jack Black, to erase the Prince reference...

Here's a bit of a spoiler related to the "King Kong" franchise. So if you don't want to know, don't highlight the following:

KING KONG
SON OF KONG
JUNE 2006

KING KONG
INTO THE WOLF'S LAIR
DECEMBER 2006

Anyway, that's it for now...I wanted to also discuss Lenny Bruce and Howard Stern a bit, but I'll leave that for another time...

Your Pal,

Zambo.

P.S.
Letterman had Bill O'Reilly on and was clearly not into his whole deal. He seemed rather disgusted and basically told him that 60% of what he does is bull shit. It was odd. Letterman seemed to be getting agitated, but then was nice to O'Reilly at the end of the interview...Weird.