Out of the Loop...
Hi kids.
I hope that all is well.
I've been out of the loop for a few days. Lots has been going on...
So it would appear that my pal Spider Walk has tagged me.
I'm on my lunch...so this is gonna be a quick and dirty post. (Coincidentally, it's a sex-related tag)...
The rules: The tagged victim lists 8 different points of their perfect lover/partner, mentioning the sex of said partner.
Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on a post letting them know they've been tagged.
If tagged before, no need to contribute.
Target of My Perfect Partner:
Sex: Female
I hope that all is well.
I've been out of the loop for a few days. Lots has been going on...
So it would appear that my pal Spider Walk has tagged me.
I'm on my lunch...so this is gonna be a quick and dirty post. (Coincidentally, it's a sex-related tag)...
The rules: The tagged victim lists 8 different points of their perfect lover/partner, mentioning the sex of said partner.
Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on a post letting them know they've been tagged.
If tagged before, no need to contribute.
Target of My Perfect Partner:
Sex: Female
- Clean (hygienic and preferably no seedy past/baggage if possible);
- "Dirty" (as in sexually open-minded...naughty might be a better term);
- Attentive (as in supportive and generous);
- Confident (independent and self-assured...not arrogant...that gets old fast);
- Quiet (honest and communicative, but aware of when to stop talking);
- Sense of humour (If she's not that funny, she should at least be able to "get" my lame jokes);
- Sleazy...Demure (see "Total Recall");
- Sex appeal or at the very least cuteness (let's face it, it's important...even though it does fade).
There. I think that's all.
I would like the following people to do this too (If you don't have a blog set up, then you can do it in my comments section):
- Beatdogg
- Gobbles
- Keeks
- S*
- Ra
- Stringman
- Mel
- 8th Dwarf (no fixed address)
- Captain Oreo (no fixed address)
- Chico (no fixed address)
If you break this chain, then horrible things shall befall you and your loved ones...
(Not really...but it might be fun to do)...
If I didn't list you and you would like to do this, please feel free...as I suspect some of my pals won't take it seriously...or even do it at all...
Take care out there.
Your Pal,
Zambo.
posted by Zambo at 1:01 PM
13 Comments:
1. German - they're filthy. If German is unavailable, Japanese or homeless will suffice. The filth is the key here. Apologies to any German, Japanese of homeless women reading this...
2. Female - should probably be the first thing on the list. Probably.
3. "A pinkish hue" - also key. Hard to find in a Japanese girl... or a homeless girl. They have more of a "deathly pallor". But I'm willing to make exceptions... in exchange for "other things", know whum sayin?
4. Money - lots of it. I'm lazy, but I like nice stuff. Think K-Fed without the moves.
5. A third nipple - cuz sometimes, two gets boring.
6. Stupid - I could never date a woman who is smarter than me. Luckily, I have yet to meet one. A woman, that is. Never mind smarter.
7. Low expectations - that's the only way we're gonna make it through the post-honeymoon period. That, and crack whores. Oh yeah... LOTS of crack whores.
8. A strong back - so she can do all the work I'm dodging. And piggyback rides to and from the fridge. Which shall be stocked with freshly made sandwiches at all times. No crusts, please.
Received the tag (lol); will reply tonight and alert you. Thanks for including me (I think -- smile)
-R
Oh Beatdogg.
You marvelous beast!
Thanks for taking that on...and with such candor!
Nice work, buddy.
~*~*~
Hey Ra.
I look forward to your reply.
I have a feeling that Beatdogg's list won't be prompting too many folks to pout and mutter: "I was gonna say that!"
Take care out there.
Your Pal,
Zambo.
yaaaaay Zambo!! yer baaack :)
Hey Nicki!
The rumours of my disappearance were greatly exaggerated...
Thanks, Keeks!
That was a pretty solid list! (The fact that I know you makes most of the items seem like perfect choices).
Talk to you later, gals!
Your Pal,
Zambo.
Zambo, thanks for the tag.
I liked your first two: clean and naughty do it for me. Everything else is just a bonus ;)
Haaa,great answers everyone!
Male seeks Female:
1. Able to tolerate my back hair, beergut, bald spot, crooked teeth, weak chin, smelly feet, etc.
2. Smart, but not too smart. Like Beatdogg, I am afraid that I would feel insecure if she was way smarter than me. If she was *as* smart as me, our arguments would go on forever. So just a bit dumber than me would be perfect.
3. Funny, but not too funny. (See number 2.)
4. Patient. This speaks for itself, doesn't it? She's going to have to put up with a lot from me.
5. Loving. Let's face it: we all want someone to mother us to some extent. (Remember that scene in Blue Velvet when Dennis Hopper's character takes a big huff of nitrous and then croaks, "Mommy? Baby wants to fuuuuuck!" That's exactly what I don't mean.)
6. Open-minded. I need somebody to act as a foil.
7. Optimistic. As I get more and more pessimistic, I think I need somebody like this more and more.
8. Cute/Pretty. I'm quite accepting of different looks, I think; I can usually find something attractive about most women. So I'm not super-picky, but at the same time I won't pretend like looks don't matter. Sadly, it would help if she didn't value looks much. (Shrug.) I'm living in Japan now, so I am finding Japanese women quite attractive these days... but I'm open.
Thanks for the comments folks.
I appreciate the responses.
Sherry,
I'll do the tag as soon as I can.
I'm pretty bummed out at the moment though.
Actor Chris Penn was found dead in his bed yesterday.
By all accounts, he was a good guy and he was amazing in "Reservoir Dogs". One of my favourite lines of his from the film, "It looks like like Sam's hot car lot out there."
Though I didn't know him, his work has touched my life in some way...from "Footloose" onward.
The following is an exchange he had as Nice Guy Eddie with "Mr. Blonde" "Reservoir Dogs":
Nice Guy Eddie: Did you see that daddy? Guy got me on the ground and he tried to fuck me.
Mr. Blonde: You wish.
Nice Guy Eddie: Listen Vic, I don't mind what you do, but don't try to fuck me in my father's office, I don't think of you that way. I like you a lot man, but I don't think of you that way.
Mr. Blonde: Eddie, if I was a butt cowboy, I wouldn't even throw you to the posse.
Nice Guy Eddie: Of course not, you'd keep me for yourself, you sick bastard. Four years of fuckin' punks up the ass you'd appreciate a piece of prime rib when you see one.
R.I.P. Chris Penn.
Your Pal,
Zambo.
Nice Guy Eddie, we hardly knew ye... One of my favourite lines from "Reservoir Dogs" is when Mr. White is trying to get Nice Guy Eddie to call a doctor for Mr. Orange, who is bleeding to death:
NGE: "Okay, Mr. fucking COMPASSION! I'll call somebody!"
Mr. White: "Who?"
NGE: "A fuckin' SNAKE CHARMER!! Who do you think?? I'll call a doctor!"
There's something about the way he spits out that snake charmer line that has always killed me. I'm gonna miss the big lout.
How's my favorite monkey doing today?
Thanks for accepting the tag Zambo.
You did a nice job and it gave me greater insight into your personality. I only argue one point though. Who says sex appeal has to fade?!?!
In general, you want a slut who will wait on you hand and foot, laugh at your bad jokes and then shut the hell up eh??
ROTFLMAO!!
Just kidding, my friend.
Muuuuhaaawww!!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
So I've been tagged. I'm so out of the loop.... I'm still super busy at work, but I didn't want to let you down, so I'm gonna cheat a little, Zam. I did a "7s" tag some months ago. Recyling is good. Here:
1. sincerity/honesty
2. soulful eyes
3. good teeth (or at least the willingness to get them)
4. manliness/chivalrousness
5. open-mindedness
6. ability to throw me over his shoulder i.e. big in stature
7. creativity/artistic talent
8. an enterprising spirit
Oh...and HH FINALLY BLOGGED AGAIN. You gotta stop by and visit her.
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