HAND JOBS!

Hello!

Now that I got your attention using the "FREE SEX" school of marketing, check out these cool "Painted Hands"...A friend sent me this via e-mail and I thought they were pretty neat...








Check out Koko, the signing gorilla, if you have a chance. She's also got busy hands and she seems like a sweet gal.

There are a few video clips on her site...one's with Mister Rogers...(it's kinda weird)...


I have more to report, but not much time lately...

A friend and I were chatting yesterday, and she said, "I told you about the monkey I had when I was a kid, right?" I was all, "WHAAAAT?!?!"...and then she told me all about it...She said she'd get some pictures to show me, so I'll post the pix when she gets them. But in case I forget or get hit by a bus or something, it was Christmas 1973...My friend's mom went to by the local pet store and saw that they had spider monkeys for sale. She thought, "Hey...I'll get the kids a monkey!"... a little spider monkey the kids eventually would name Buttercup, (due to the golden colouring of her chest area...like when you hold a buttercup to your chin and it looks yellow)...So she purchased Buttercup and left her with a friend down the street until Christmas, because the kids were curious and would no doubt have found out if there was a monkey in the house...So on Christmas Eve night, the kids noticed a large rectangular object in the middle of the living room that was covered in their grandmother's quilts...(My friend's parents, like so many other parents, would usually put out the larger gifts the night before, as the kids would get up really early on Christmas morning, eager with anticipation)...According to my friend, who was a little girl at the time, she and her other siblings didn't peek...but they did get up at about 6:30 the next morning...They all gathered around this mysterious object and were given permission to open it. Inside was a large cage, containing exactly one spider monkey...She was cute and seemed afraid...This was Buttercup!


So they decided to let her out. Being surrounded by two adults and four children, Buttercup did what can be expected...She darted towards the Christmas tree and hid within it for shelter. Try as they might, the kids couldn't convince little Buttercup that it was safe to come out. Feeling threatened, she grabbed ornaments and proceeded to throw them out of the tree like little hand grenades...They were shattering all over the place, according to my friend...I imagined Buttercup pulling the metal hooks out of the ornaments with her teeth, just before launching them and yelling "Fire in the hole!" in spider monkey-ese...

She eventually got used to the family and spent the most time with my friend's brother...Perhaps because of his deep voice, my friend thinks...She would sleep on his chest and ride around on his shoulder...The family enjoyed Buttercup for four years, but then she began to get a bit restless and possibly lonely...She ended up biting my friend's sister on the hand...The family decided that it would be best for all concerned if they gave Buttercup to another family who lived up the street and had coincidentally purchased a male spider monkey they had named Moonshine. So Buttercup and Moonshine were companions for the next ten years...They seemed happy, but never did produce a baby monkey. Then one day Moonshine got ill and eventually passed away...Buttercup soon followed...My friend said that she died of a broken heart...

I thought it was a pretty good little tale. I'll post the pix as soon as I get them.

Anyway, that's all for today.

Take care out there!

UFC this Saturday night! Should be good.

Your Pal,

Zambo.

Tuesday After Long Weekend...

Hey Folks.

It was a long weekend here in Canada...So needless to say, it was difficult to get out of bed this morning...but I guess any day you wake up is a good day...theoretically.


I haven't been all that great at my Blogging duties lately...

Anyway, here's a link to some classic simian videos, if you're bored...(Trunk Monkey is one of my personal favourites)...Here's another called "Monkey Bloopers"...(Thanks to Beatdogg).

I'll try to post more soon.

Take care out there!

Your Pal,

Zambo.

P.S.
I saw "The Da Vinci Code" on Saturday and it wasn't too bad...Not enough Da Vinci for my liking though, and Hanks' hair wasn't nearly as distracting as I had expected it to be...I'll have more to report later...

Update...Long Overdue...But Not Overly Meaningful...

Hey Blogger Buddies.

Once again I have been a bit of a deadbeat Blogger lately...With the warmer weather around here these days, there's been a lot of stuff to do that doesn't involve a computer...(Hooray for the sunshine and the cute little outfits that some of the gals are starting to wear! Boo for the annoyingly slappy, flip-floppy shoes that come with the aforementioned "cute little outfits")...

It's been a little bit rainy the past few days though...There's nothing quite like going out for lunch when it's nice out and then getting caught in a torrential downpour on the way back. It's the best when the back of your pants stick to the back of your legs as they dry...Even better still, is when you come back looking like you just got deloused "Planet of the Apes"-style and some people will ask, "Is it raining out?"...To which we really should reply "No" and then sit down without another word about it...but we have to work with these people every day...I suppose we could tell them we were trying out that new gum, Trident Splash and got hit by a tidal wave...but it's nice out otherwise...(If you're not familiar with the ad, there's a bunch of folks waiting for a bus and then a guy shows up in a Speedo and pops a Trident Splash out of his blister pack...Then they're all hit by a tidal wave...It's that refreshing!)...

Anyway, once it was raining so hard after lunch that we stopped to seek shelter under one of the awnings of a downtown eatery. The buildings' gutters were filling up so fast that they were washing out onto the sidewalks...There were cigarette butts and used condoms and all manner of other filth surfing towards the street...All we could think was that one day a real rain would come...à la "Taxi Driver"..."Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets"...We're still waiting...Downtown is a real mess...

~oOo~

Check the Urban Dictionary's description of Bukakke if you're not familiar with the term...then click this for a nonsexual, nonsensical video that's kinda funny...(Kinda like that "All Your Base Are Belong to Us" video from a few years ago...which is kinda boring)...

~oOo~

There's some sad simian news to report...On Sunday a little monkey was killed by a sloth bear in a Dutch zoo to the horror of many zoo visitors. The bear then carried the monkey's body to a den where a group of bears ate the little fella...The link at the end of the article had too much traffic, so the guy who took pix of the whole ordeal is now charging a fee to view them...R.I.P., little guy...

~oOo~

I didn't want to leave you on a sad note, so I have a link to a game where you have to try to walk as far as you can without falling over, after a night of drinking...It seems pretty simple, but it can get quite addictive...(if you're the competitive type)...If you have a chance, see how far you can get the little German guy to walk...

That's all I've got at the moment...

Take care out there!

Your Pal,

Zambo.

Mostly Superman...

Hey Folks.

I hope things are going well and that you have all your ducks in a row or whatever...

Until I watched Trailer 1 for "Superman Returns", I had never really considered the Superman as Christ angle...(I'm more of a Batman fan anyway...He's a self-made man, whereas Superman was born with his abilities and never really had to try that hard, in my opinion. I don't really wish to argue this point too extensively since I'm thirty-something...but if you prefer Superman, good for you)...So in the trailer, you can hear archival Brando narration as Jor-El..(or God maybe?)...Here's what he says:

Even though you’ve been raised as a human being, you are not one of them…They could be a great people, Kal-El …They wish to be…They only lack the light to show the way...For this reason above all…Their capacity for good…I have sent them you, my only son.

Interesting, huh? That's certainly something to think about, I guess... I did a quicky search and found a few related images...

But enough about that...Here's what could happen when the apes take over the DC Comics Universe...(It's an old one, but a personal favourite of mine...I recently found a shirt with this image printed on it! Which I think is kinda cool...if odd)...

So on Saturday we went to Chapters (book store) 'cause I wanted to get “In Me Own Words” the first in the Bigfoot series by Graham Roumieu…but alas, they didn’t have it in stock…So I browsed around at other books…Lasagna had to return something at a different store so I killed some time while I waited for her…Da Vinci mania is sweeping the nation these days due to “The Da Vinci Code” coming out on May 19…I'd like to see it, despite Tom Hanks' pathetic hair don't...It feels to me sorta like when you really like a band and then they become really popular…then everybody seems to like them and you feel somewhat let down…That’s kinda how I feel about all this Da Vinci hype…I’m glad that people are showing an interest in this great figure of human history, but there’s a part of me that was pleased to know about him when others didn’t…I guess that’s a selfish outlook, but that’s the way it is…It’s also weird when you think you’re a huge fan of a band and on your way to the concert you think…”Man I’m they’re biggest fan…ever…For sure” Then when you get there, you notice people dressed like the band or people with the band’s logo branded on their foreheads…and you think, “Maybe that guy’s more into them than I am”…

Anyway...as I was browsing for books of interest, I was near the Starbucks section of the store and could hear the person who would probably tell people that she's a "barista", I guess...calling out all these outrageously named coffee drinks...(In Spanish, barrista means gymnast on the horizontal bars...which is more interesting to me than making designer coffee for urban go-getters)...There have been lots of jokes related to "mocha-frappe-latte" and other such names...but after standing there for a few minutes, I began to get really angry at what's become of us...so I went to the magazine racks, where I found a few magazines of interest...I bought the recent issue of Adbusters and Lee's Toy Review...

In Lee's Toy Review, I spotted this pic that gave me a bit of a chuckle and is relevant to the whole Superman topic...

I ended up ordering "In Me Own Words" and "A Really Super Book About Squirrels" (which is illustrated by Roumieu) from amazon.ca when I got home...So that's the happy ending, I guess...

Hey! Look up in the sky!

It's a bird!

It's a plane!

It's Beppo the Super-Monkey!

Take care out there, folks!

Your Pal,

Zambo.

Sierra Leone: Chimp Attack Update

Hey Gang.

I hope all is well.

Just wanted to do a quick post about the recent chimp attack in Sierra Leone...

Apparently the fellow pictured bellow is an abnormally large chimp with aggression issues...His name is Bruno and he's reportedly about 6 feet tall and rage shaped like a chimp...

This is Gary Brown...He survived the attack and allegedly stopped Bruno from doing any further damage...Check out this interview, if you're interested...

In other news, Beatdogg and I were at a book store last week and were both captivated by this little gem...We each bought a copy...

"Me Write Book", by Graham Roumieu.

It's pure magic on a lot of levels...Maybe it's not for everyone, but Beatdogg and I found it to be a work of art! The drawings are great and the book is written from Bigfoot's perspective (if that's not clear from the title)...I can't say enough good stuff about it...It's raw and gruesome in places...but touching and laugh-out-loud funny at times...

So that's my book recommendation for this week...

Take care out there, people!

And for goodness sake avoid eye contact...

Your Pal,

Zambo.

P.S.

Time magazine has a list of the 100 People Who Shape the World...Note Howard Stern in there...