Blogorrhea, Blogorrhea...Blogorrhea Let Me Go!!!

Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me...

Did you ever notice that when you think you’re all alone, and you let one rip, someone invariably comes up and wants to talk to you? Part of you will be listening to what (s)he is saying…but there’s a part of you that knows (s)he is in a cloud of your ass vapour…Like when Kyan on “Queer Eye” instructs us on how to apply fragrances…Spray, delay and walk away…Basically, they’re soaking in it…if it’s a friend, you’ll tell him/her what has just transpired…if not, and (s)he doesn’t realize it, you can do the old, “Walk with me. Talk with me”…If you don’t like the person and don’t care, then you let it soak in…There was a gal we used to work with who claimed that she had no sense of smell…I always wanted to test her…but I didn’t feel right about it for some reason…It would have been interesting to go back to her work area, after a particularly gassy lunch, and test her olfactive capabilities…

Anyway, I drive a lot…and I think about all sorts of stuff…sometimes tasks I have to get done at home or at work, sometimes what’s on for the weekend, sometimes what I’m going to write about here…my blogorrhea, if you will… (from the word logorrhea, meaning pathologically excessive and often incoherent talkativeness or wordiness that is characteristic especially of the manic phase of manic-depressive disorders)…

The following is a Foxworthy-type work in progress…I call it…

YOU MIGHT BE AN ASSHOLE IF: *

• You drive like a maniac and have a contact phone number or e-mail address on your vehicle…You also may be an idiot;
  
• You drive a motorcycle at about 1.5 times the posted speed limit and treat other vehicles as pylons on an obstacle course;
  
• You throw your cigarette butts out the window and they hit the vehicle behind you…(Every time this happens, I’m glad I don’t have a gun in the car);
  
• You drive a death trap like those “smart” cars...(My dad said he’d disown me if I bought a Mini Cooper…I don’t know what he’d do if I bought one of these pieces of shit. If you happen to own one, I’m sorry, but you just might be an asshole...Much like what I call the "Look at my glasses" glasses, I see this as the "Look at my car" car...);
  
• You are more concerned with the conversation that you’re having with passengers in your car than the road;
  
• You are using your cell phone and driving at high speeds…(There will be times when you’ll have to use the phone while driving…like there’s a delay and you’re going to be late…so you call to let someone know that you’ll be late…but if you’re just “shooting the shit”, then you probably are an asshole…and you may have ADD or some form of abandonment issues, if you can’t be alone and quiet for the time it takes to drive somewhere…)
  
• You drive at your own pace (below the posted speed limit) in “the fast lane”…It doesn’t matter that those behind you would like you to move over…In fact you’re oblivious to every one else’s needs…(Dennis Leary describes it best : “I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,While people behind me are going insane. I'm an asshole”);
  
• You think that signaling is optional…you signal as you’re moving laterally or turning, not before, to indicate your intention to other drivers…You signal when it suits you to do so…it’s always a roll of the dice to drive alongside you…Are you going to stay in your lane or move into the lane I would like to move into? Who knows…maybe you do, asshole…;
  
• Your bumper stickers aren't funny...
  
• You have any neon purple accessories on or underneath your vehicle;
  
• You have a sticker similar to this on your pick-up truck:

*If you are guilty of committing one or more of these acts against decency on a consistent basis…you just might be an asshole…Of course there are extenuating circumstances and we all have our “off days”…but I suspect that there are just some folks out there who don’t know how to drive…Let's just say that they're assholes! (This is what I have so far, but I may add to it in time)...

Speaking of assholes, I’ve watched the first few episodes of “Tommy Lee Goes to College"...…And let me tell you, he’s extreme…to the max…(Is that what the kids are saying today?)…He’s going to be 44 years old in October, and he just seems like he’s trying so hard to make it look like he isn’t trying at all…His little outfits are always hip as can be…but all I see is an upgraded version of Howard Stern - only he's witless, with a bigger penis and more ink…I’m not sure if that’s a good thing…or a bad thing…His tutor is pretty sexy though…I hope that he doesn’t give her the Hep C…(if he has it, that is)… …He seems to be suffering from what can only be described as “Sam Malone-itis”...I can’t remember the exact quote, but Diane described Sam as “…an aging lothario…” and mentioned that he's got a case of Peter Pan syndrome or something like that…(Sorry I don’t have the exact quote…it’s been a while…).

MORE TV

I enjoy watching "Big Brother" and I like the "UFC "...The thing about "Big Brother" is that people’s true nature comes through and it’s only a matter of time before they forget about the all-seeing cameras…It’s like they’ve never seen the show…even though it’s "Big Brother 6" in the US and I don’t know how many there have been worldwide…I know that the European ones are racier…Anyway, it’s an interesting social experiment…Reality TV seems to have gone too far…but it’s so damn entertaining…The "UFC" would qualify as a sporting event, but then there’s the show where the fighters must live in the same house and they’ll eventually have to fight somebody in order to stay in the house…Somehow I forgot to watch it last night…I got sidetracked…After watching stuff like this, you realize that we're not that far off from the gladiator days...There's an innate desire (mostly for men) to watch people hurting each other...I'm not quite sure exactly what "need" it fulfills...but I guess it's different things to different people...It's been a while since I've been in a real fight...I don't really like hurting people and tend to feel remorse if/when I do...But lately, I've been really wanting to experience clutching someone behind the neck and driving my knee into her/his face...(since it's not really going to happen, I can say "her/his")...It just seems so devastating...I've been kneed in the face accidentally and it wasn't too bad...but when it's controlled, practised and direct, it must be painful...That and the dreaded liver kick...It would seem that if you kick a guy in the liver area hard enough, it serves as an "OFF" switch...Keep this in mind the next time you're throwin' down...Also work the nuts and the throat area if it's life or death...Remember: Speed, aggression and surprise. I was going to tell a story about punching a guy in the nose when I was younger, but I'll save it for another time...

I'll leave you with a passage that I found when I clicked the "NEXT BLOG" button...I was directed to a Spanish page with a lot of sexually charged, but not explicit images...So I pasted the text into an online translation service to find out what the hell was going on here...I recognized a few of the words...

NOTE: the following contains mature subject matter and poorly translated English...Reader discretion is advised:

FEMININE MASTURBATION

Between a 70 and 82 percent of the women masturba until orgasmo sometimes in its life. Many begin last the 20 years, or when they have already made the sex. It is possible that some women never masturben themselves. The frequency usually varies depending on the circumstances, but the investigation demonstrates that the women who maintain sexual a relation active, masturban themselves as much as those that do not maintain it. The masturbation is an excellent way to discover your sexual answers, besides to satisfy your desires. The masturbation is a very personal and deprived experience. Many women discover masturbando better forms to be excited and to arrive at orgasmo during the sex, she even can contribute to that some experience multiple orgasmos. There are women who ease up remaining quiet when masturbar itself, using the hands only with the genitals. Others prefer to move vigorously and to caress the chests with the hands, in addition to the genitals. Also it is possible to be resorted to the use of lubricants to help to that the fingers slide, intensifying the pleasure of the masturbation. How to masturbar to a woman? The sexual necessities of each woman vary widely, each woman has her own preferences and desires. The best thing is to discover as they are the necessities of your companion, for ayudarte you can request to him that it guides its hand to you and teaches to you what more it likes. It is not necessary that you concentrate yourself only in the genitals, also remembers the sines and the navel. It caresses prepucio of clítoris of your companion, first by a side and later on the other hand, acordandote to vary the rate and the pressure. It is fundamental that the pressures on clítoris are small not to reduce the stimulation. The smaller or internal lips are very sensible to the tact. It caresses the vagina with all the hand and if the lubrication is adapted it introduces your fingers inside the vaginas.

MUTUAL MASTURBATION

the mutual masturbation is a good way to prepare the way towards the sex, or to continue when the way towards the complete sex is dificil, by disease, to be in the last stage of the pregnancy or so that to one of both it does not desire sex to him with penetration Thanks to the hands can make movements of high accuracy, that will cause that both you enjoy the best together sensations. By means of caresses you will discover yet details the body of your pair. And by means of these small games you will be able to express of form frees your desires and prefencias, doing to know to him to your pair which you like more.

So...What do you think of that?

All I can think to add is,

"It puts the lotion on its skin...It does this whenever it's told..."


Your Pal,

Putting the lotion in the fucking basket...

Zambo.

Don't Phunk with My Heart

Hi "all y'all".

When I visited Peggy's Cove in Nova Scotia, I thought about retiring there one day...so nice, so peaceful...But I was on vacation. I put the work aside and focused on the now, for once...I didn't think of the harsh winters...or any of the negative...but now I'm back "home". When I have any time to myself, I spend it in my living room or in the pool...Most days, I wish I didn't have to have any contact with others or have to be surrounded by the shit that we've been conditioned to think we need...but that's just the way it is...(not a cop out...just a fact)...The movie "Singles" described how we're at a point where one does not even have to leave the house...and things are even more "advanced" now...in some ways...(I just watched the MTV Video Music Awards...I'm not so sure things are advancing in the right direction...I only watched to see Green Day dominate...and they did...Also, fuck Orlando Bloom and the other felchers in attendance...truly sickening...Poor rich Kelly Clarkson...It's sad to see how she's been repackaged to further the cause of mass-produced non-conformity)...

Anyway, when you're working, you don't really notice how crowded it is or how superficial things seem...Sure, you'll notice, but you'll just get on with your day...maybe write a blog about it...But when your focus is elsewhere, you can also neglect to notice the good stuff...Like living near Niagara Falls and only thinking of how jammed traffic's gonna be 'cause of the witless tourists/obstacles...not that the Falls are amazing and right there!!!

There's a fine line between living with the necessary evils and being another Ted Kaczynski...
Gobbles mentions "...miles of identical, nauseating strip malls, gas station/convenience stores, fast food dives, multiplexes, big box stores..." being sickening...but they are like the police in a way...a lot of times we think we don't "need" them, but we really do...There's a part of us that resents their existence...but when we "need" them, we need to know that they're there for us...(I use the word "need" here...but it's more of a conditioned "want", I guess)...When you're on "E", and so is your car, you want there to be a gas station at the next exit...When your iPod mini requires the "GriffiniTrip mini", so that you can listen to your iPod in the car, you want "Best Buy" to be around the corner... I encountered both situations today, in fact...My car "needed" gas...And I think that the FM transmitter is an investment for my peace of mind...(I will be less apt to contemplate employing the Pitt maneuver, or wondering if I should follow some asshole to wherever he's going - to beat him unmercifully in front of his family - for failing to signal as he drove with no regard for human life on my commute to/from work...) .

I have lost track of where I was going with all this, but I think I've made some sort of point...Not feeling too coherent right now...busy weekend...work soon...

It was my mom's birthday today, so I visited the folks...They're doing OK...my dad liked the iPod mini...he enjoys the new technology...I wonder where things will be when I'm his age...Perhaps I'll have a robot to help me change his diapers...or perhaps a helper monkey...with robotic appendages?...So tired...

So let's review:

Green Day, good (despite excessive use of eye make-up)...most other douche sacks at the MTV "non-event", no good.
Modern conveniences and over-crowding, a necessary evil...
Getting up in like 6 hours, sucks a bowl of shit...

Good night Hillary Duff and Joel Madden, wherever you are...
Good night, Diddy...Sleep well...
Good night, all...y'all.

Your Pal,

Zambo.

A Case of the Mondays...

Hello Gang.

I hope that everyone reading this is doing OK.

I am seriously considering putting up pictures of my cubicle and other work-related photos in my cubicle…to really push the point that there’s no other place I’d rather be…Some people have pictures of loved ones and/or places they’d rather be. I am currently surrounded by work-oriented crap and a few enormous pictures: one of a 1970s deli assortment and a giant sandwich… this thing’s about five feet wide by about three feet high…(they were going to throw it out, so I offered to take it).

The other poster directly in front of me is a Burger King ad for the "BK Steak Burger"...(found in between boxes on a skid of stuff)...


I have a few pix of Billie Joe from Green Day performing and giving the finger in my cubicle as well...but nothing too personal...I like to keep my personal life to myself...It's a case of what George Costanza would call "worlds colliding"...I woudn't think of putting up a picture of my woman, Lasagna, (that's her stage name)...in my cubicle...But one thing that I do find interesting is that of the women in the office who have personal pictures up, the pix are usually of their kids...not their husbands...Interesting...I don't know what it means exactly, but I have an idea...

But enough about that.

How was your weekend?

Just kidding...I don't want to hear about it...

So tonight is the series finale of "Six Feet Under"...It's been such a depressing season....Last week, I was flipping channels after it was over...There appeared to be nothing on that I wanted to watch...I saw that a film that I had never heard of was playing on one of the movie channels. It was called "Box of Moonlight" and it had some cool actors in it, so I decided to watch it until The Daily Show (I can't seem to get enough of Jon Stewart's smugness and constant use of the word "Jewy"...It's still pretty funny, but his smugness is getting close to that of Dennis Miller and Bill Mahar lately...)...Anyway, the movie wasn't too bad...I like John Turturro and Sam Rockwell ...Anyway...Rockwell displays his junk in a few of the swimming scenes. Since I mentioned Samantha Morton's groin in an earlier post, it's only fair that I report this penis sighting. It shouldn't really be a big deal to see someone nude, but I guess that's the way it has become. Usually, you'll see someone from behind...or just up to the waist area...So I was surprised to see Rockwell's dog and dice, if you will...And that's all I have to say about that.
(Most guys will usually remember any form of female nudity in a film...even if they don't remember their girlfriend's birthday)...

I also saw "I, Robot" the other night...It wasn't that great. Will Smith's ego is getting pretty out of control...

The UFC was pretty awesome on Saturday night...Tune in to SpikeTV's "The Ultimate Fighter: Season 2" tonight at 11:05 pm EST.

That's it for now.

My lunch is over.

Your Pal,

Zambo.

My Incompetence...More of an Oversight Really...

Greetings Race Fans.

I regret to inform you that I have made a mistake. My post for Tuesday, August 09, 2005 ironically titled "Incompetence: It's The New Competence" contained pictures of Christian Bale from "American Psycho", "The Machinist"and then from [what I thought was] "Batman Begins"...but the Batman pic actually turned out being from 2002's "Equilibrium"...(which coincidentally lists Dominic Purcell - TV's short-lived John Doe - as the main character in the credits, but he's only in the film for about 2 minutes...which I found peculiar...I think that "Cast In Order of Appearance" was not the case either...I forget though...). Anyway, I want to thank Joe Blow for pointing out the oversight on my part... I did a search for Batman images, but found none (shirtless) to illustrate the dramatic changes in Bale's physique...he mentioned in several interviews that losing the weight for "The Machinist" was not as difficult as one would think...The whole film was shot in Spain in over 100 degree heat on most days...Bale said that a bright note to being that thin was that the heat didn't affect him as much as it did the other crew members...who were sweating their balls off... I found the following picture, which is NOT FROM THE MOVIE but quite funny I thought:

(I think that Bale's face has been added to an action figure's body...)

This article discusses the dramatic weight loss and gain...

Here's Bale in the "Bat-suit"...

Thanks again to Joe Blow for noticing the error...and for commenting...(This is where an "inhuman being" from the corporate world would say, "Nice catch!"...I'd rather not...) The Beatdogg was cracking me up the other day when we were discussing "business-speak" and how if one were so inclined, one could relate anything business-oriented to a baseball analogy...I hope that he shares this and other quips in his next post...soon...

NOTE: I found this pic much, much later...

Your Pal,

Zambo.

P.S. I caught "Code 46" on the Movie Network today...Tim Robbins is in it and so is Samantha Morton (and a pretty blatant close-up of her nude below the waist...I wonder if they used a body double..."What do you do?"..."I'm a stunt vag..."...I will say that there's something about her, though she's not conventionally "beautiful"...she's got a heat...)...Anyway, her character has a memorable line in the film:

Everybody's children are so special. It makes you wonder where all the ordinary grown-ups come from.

Samantha Morton pic (not from the movie...but presenting her crotch...Perhaps it wasn't a double...):

Don't Try

Dear Reader,

I hope that everything is OK wherever you may be.

Below is a picture of Charles Bukowski's gravestone:

Like the skunk, he has left us on a bit of a sour note...(depending on how one interprets his message)...Whenever I drive by a fallen skunk, I usually take in a deep breath through my nose...The little fella's last act was to leave his scent. The least we can do is take it in. That's his ephemeral legacy, I guess...

It would appear that Bukowski's last act (or request) was to leave us guessing...maybe..."DON'T TRY"...too hard?... "DON'T TRY"...to understand?..."DON'T TRY"...Just be?...or maybe it simply means, "DON'T TRY".

Our pal Homer Simpson has told us that, "Trying is the first step towards failure"...

So if you can get away with it, DON'T TRY.

Your Pal,

Zambo

P.S. This link is for my buddy, Chico.

Incompetence: It's The New Competence

"...general competence is on the fucking decline."
American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis ,Page 322

I saw "The Machinist" (a.k.a. "El Maquinista") over the weekend. It starred Christian Bale, (who also played Patrick Bateman in "American Psycho"...I thought that the film was a good supplemental to the novel...and as we should all know, Bale was recently the new Batman - a.k.a El Hombre Murciélago)...Anyway, it was pretty unsettling to watch "The Machinist" due to the content and the real-life fact that Bale lost an incredible amount of weight for the role of Trevor...

So basically, Bale went from this:

"Amercican Psycho", (2000)

to this...

"The Machinist", (2004)

then back to this...

"Batman Begins", (2005)

in a relatively short period of time...One cannot help but consider this while viewing the film. But despite this distraction, it was a good film. It had elements that reminded me of "Memento" (which coincidentally was directed by Christopher Nolan, who directed Bale in "Batman Begins"...) in the sense that Trevor is trying to piece together everything that is going on around him as his mind and body deteriorate...(It reminded me of other films in other respects, but I don't want to give too much away)...So, the thing that bugged me a bit was the hype surrounding Bale's physical transformation...Admittedly, it was part of the reason that I wanted to see it myself...But the film delivered...(I've seen most of Bale's films anyway...so I'm sure I would have seen it at some point regardless)...It wasn't just hype...Stallone gained a bunch of weight to be in "Cop land" which he did for "...a mere $60,000..." (It is said that he did the film to play a serious role and escape his action hero cast type) ...De Niro was rewarded with an Oscar for his immersion into the role of Jake LaMotta in "Raging Bull", (1980)...The late great Marlon Brando showed up way overweight for his role of Colonel Walter E. Kurtz in "Apocalypse Now", (1979) ...but he was awesome ...Renée Zellweger gained and lost weight for the "Bridget Jones" films...Sadly, her once-cute face has never fully recovered... and the over-rated Gwyneth Paltrow wore a "fat" suit in "Shallow Hal", (2001) ...which was pretty disappointing despite the presence of the great Jack Black, who may or may not have bulked up for the film...But you can read the following in her bio on imdb:

As part of research for her role as an obese woman in "Shallow Hal", Gwyneth wore the 200 pound latex "fat" suit she used for the film to a bar where people refused to make eye contact with her and treated her rudely. She then said that this experience made her saddened by the injustice faced by overweight people in society.

Poor Gwyneth...I can imagine Charlize Theron scoffing at this because she totally transformed for her award-winning performance in "Monster" (2003)...Then I can further imagine the "average woman", who has struggled with weight and body issues her whole life, watching as a back-to-svelte Ms. Theron accepts her award...She calls her a bad word in between mouthfuls of fried chicken...

I am anticipating Kirstie Alley's return to being slim in the near future...She'll most likely write a book about what it was like to live as a fat person...It was obviously just a social experiment...(Hopefully she's able to do it without cocaine this time)...I have watched several episodes of "Fat Actress" and I like it...Alley is quite funny...

What's next for Bale, I wonder... Perhaps he will undertake a role that requires him to gain a lot of weight...That might be interesting to see...(Nicolas Cage impressed me with his work in "Adaptation"...he made up for some of his less-than-impressive performances in recent years...). Bale seems cool, but I am still thrown by the fact that he does interviews with an American accent when he plays an American character in a film...Does this seem odd to anyone else? I mentioned it when he was doing the press junket for "Batman Begins"...he did the same on the extra features of "The Machinist" DVD...

But what does any of what I've discussed thus far have to do with incompetence?...I was just getting to that...

One Man's Incompetence is

Another Man's Bread and Butta

Another overly-hyped fellow, in my opinion, is that "50 Cent" character...His claim to fame seems to be that someone shot him 9 times and failed to kill him...Though the shooter did score a head (face) shot, he must not have been familiar with the Special Forces motto that there's no such thing as overkill... Now I don't really have anything against "Fitty" per se, but I just don't think that glamourizing pimpin' and being a gangsta is the way to go...for me anyway...Sure I've turned a few bitches out...but that was back in the day...(Not really...Like Howard Stern, I too was raised like veal, to be honest...I was just seeing if I could pull it off ...Was that misogyinistic enough?)...I guess the kids today need more "Gangsta-Pimp" role models... Anyway, "Fitty" was supposed to be a guest on Stern this morning, but he couldn't make it...no reason given...I wanted to listen to him today before making my comments...Oh well...

(This post contains a lot of shirtless dudes...I should probably balance it out with some topless gals...but I won't)...

What's The Frequency, Kenneth?

If you have time, check out this interesting article about Dan Rather's beating several years ago, the R.E.M. song, "12 Monkeys" and closure to the story several years later...(It is truly amazing...and it is possibly related to the idea behind "12 Monkeys"...I wonder if maybe William Tager might have seen the film "La Jetée" (1962) and then incorporated this idea into his bizarre fantasy-world...Or perhaps he really was born in 2265 and travelled back in time...You decide).

Ape or Artist?

Letterman has this bit called "Ape or Artist?" in which he and Paul have to determine whether the painting in the studio is the work of an ape or a human...So far they've all been the work of "apes"...

Also...

I found this image of a "Cyborg Ape" action figure...Pretty cool, huh?

I think that's it for now...

Until next time, remember: take care of yourselves-and each other...

Your Pal,

Zambo.

Public Service Announcement

Hi.

I hope that all is well.

Yesterday, on "The Ongoing History of New Music" on 102.1 FM, they were discussing our favourite "elder statesmen of punk", Green Day (You'd find it difficult to read anything about them these days without encountering this buzz phrase). Also, there was just a Green Day spotlight on Muchmusic. They showed a lot of the standard interview footage and ended with the video for "Wake Me Up When September Ends"...It was pretty good...there's a brief intro with the young couple in love and then the song stops and the girl gets upset with the guy...You wonder what he did...Then, it turns out that he enlisted in the military and his platoon comes under fire as his young love longs for him back home...I think the song is actually about Billie Joe's dad...(Some people initially thought it was related to September 11th somehow...).

Anyway, I was listening to "nimrod" on my way home tonight. I fondly remember anticipating the release of each of Green Day's albums over the years...It's good to see that they're back...and better than ever. If you're a fan, you can see their progression with each album they release...I have seen them many times over the years. They're always amazing live! I saw them twice in the same day when they were out promoting "nimrod"...That was a great day for me. I was on TV (but the MuchMusic "lady" told me to be quiet and they aired the "me being quiet" footage...It was funnier when I was talkng, if you ask me...sadly, I didn't even get my 15 minutes...maybe I have a few minutes left)...Anyway, we got to see them perform in the alley behind HMV in Toronto...we got their autographs (but they were handed out to the crowd due to a "riot" at Tower Records the week before...So I managed to get a few of the autographed "nimrod" signs)...Then we went to see them at The Phoenix that night and I met Tré Cool (see photo below)

out front...just standing there! I walked up to him and said "Hey!" and I was wearing a "Poke Me and Die" T-shirt...So he poked me...My friends kept going, thinking this was some friend of mine...I hugged him... and when I looked around, my friends were gone!...I talked to him for a while and then a crowd began to swarm and he had to go...So... they were awesome at The Phoenix too...

When "American Idiot" came out, I listened to it pretty much non-stop from the day it was released until about January (all day at work and in my car on the way home)...As Tarantino said, it's unique in the sense that "...all the songs are good!" During the "Pop Disaster Tour", they opened for Blink-182...That made me kind of sad...but that was before they made their comback and were dubbed "the elder statesmen of punk"...(It will be interesting to see if those "missing master tapes" ever turn up...If they do, hopefully they'll arrive just in time for Christmas...) Anyway, that's all I'm gonna say about Green Day right now...The following is information about where and when you can see them next (mostly in the US or on US stations):

WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS- PREMIERES!

The long awaited video premiere for Green Day's "Wake Me Up When September Ends" has finally arrived. Visit AOLMusic.com or use AOL keyword 'music' to view the full video now!You can also catch 'Wake Me Up When September Ends' tomorrow (8/9) on MTV2 all day long and on VH1 at 9:00 PM. Finally, tune in to MTV's TRL which will premiere the video on 8/10.

FORGET THE TV GUIDE: UPCOMING GREEN DAY TELEVISION

VH1 DRIVEN
Watch VH1 tomorrow (8/9) at 8:00 PM to catch Green Day on VH1's 'Driven'. Repeat airing, 8/16 at 1:00 PM.

LIVE AT IRVING PLAZA
Green Day Live at Irving Plaza will air on Fuse 8/14 at noon, 6:00 PM and 9:30 PM.

MAKING OF(S) '...WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS'
Green Day Makes a Video (for Wake Me Up When September Ends) will air on MTV2 8/9 at 7:00 AM and 4:30 PM, 8/10 at 10:30 AM and 8/15 at 7:30 AM.The Making of Wake Me Up When September Ends will air on Fuse 8/14 at 12:30 PM, 6:30 PM and 10:00 PM.

GREEN DAY GOES FOR THE GOAL
Green Day will be performing for the NFL kick off on 9/8/05 at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, MA.
Kick off will be televised on ABC. Check local listings for broadcast time in your area

Also, if you missed tonight's Spotlight, it's on again at 2 AM and 8:30 AM EST on MuchMusic...

That's my Green Day update...

I shall leave you with this excellent quote from Green Day's bassist, Mike Dirnt:

"We're probably the best Green Day-type band there is out there..."

Your Pal,

Zambo.