Soup or Tossed Salad?
Hello gang!
Please read this not-so-blind item from yesterday's news... I heard it on Howard Stern's show yesterday and thought it was pretty funny...His show's been awesome these days...Today's secret words were chocolate teabag or bandit mask and they were trying to figure out who left an unclaimed package in the latrine...and it seems that there is good news on the horizon for satellite radio here in Canada.
In other news...
My good buddy, Big Mikey - a wall of a man with a huge heart - sent me a message that contained the following incredible, yet long-forgotten quote related to something that had upset him:
...From hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.
Khan, "Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan" (1982)
Thanks, Mikey...That's a such a great line!...Especially for greeting cards...
Like a Kid in a Candy Store?
I went to "the candy store" during my lunch break today and I guess the phrase "like a kid in a candy store..." refers to yelling at the top of your lungs while running up and down the aisles...There were about six little kids with two adults...but it seemed like a lot more kids...It would have been perfect for a headache commercial. I knew that they would calm down once they were given their "fix"...They left, scrambling for their particular item from the woman in charge of wrangling them...The young lady behind the counter told me that experiences like that make her seriously consider not having kids...(That used to be my kind of woman)...
Anyway, the reason I went to the store is that it's this lady's birthday in Calgary...Alberta...Canada...We talk almost every day...mostly for work. She’s nice and we have a lot in common…and I know that she likes chocolate, so I thought I'd go take a look during my lunch break... Ahhhh!...
(I was reminded of how the expression "Selling Like Hotcakes" also proved to be different than what I thought it meant when they were selling hotcakes at school for a fund raiser once and nobody wanted none of it...)
Six Feet Under
This show has managed to maintain what made it good in the first place...which is rare, as this is its fifth and final season...My one criticism though, is that although it's such a bold and innovative show, the main women are still shown having sex with their tops on...their breasts covered...The latest episode discussed body image issues, but I think it has more to do with the main characters not wanting to expose themselves...It's not a big deal, but I didn't think that women had sex with their tops on...I guess I've been doing it wrong all these years gettin' 'em neked...I guess if they're wearing a nighty, then they could just pull it up, do the deed and get on with stuff...but it makes it seem so boring...I know Rachel Griffiths has no problem with toplessness... (see her bio)...
This week's episode of "Six Feet Under" in a nutshell...(I had already written it out for someone, so here it is...)
It opened with George as a boy watching his mother commit suicide in front of him...She told him to stay home from school and then she made him this shitty-looking sandwich which he put in his pocket...he continued to be messed up throughout the episode...Ruth found food in various stages of decomposition in his pockets while doing laundry...George's daughter and Nate shared a moment of loss...her child died at 2 years of age to leukemia...George went to the grocery store alone and began talking with a young mother and had a flashback of his mom...it was the anniversary of her death...He confided in his daughter that he might need more voltage...
Federico went to a Catholic singles night and saw his wife there...she told him to move on...later, he went to a funeral conference and met up with Angela (played by Illeana Douglas)...she replaced him when he went to the work for the competition for a while...Anyway, she admired his work and they ended up having sex...the next day, she told him that she had a boyfriend...
Brenda was dealing with a young girl with body image issues...Brenda also found out that her co-worker (played by Anne Ramsay ...not to be confused with Anne Ramsey......incidentally, I wracked my brain trying to figure out where I knew her from... As it turns out, it's Mad About You...I had tried to erase it from my mind, I guess) used to be fat, but got thin using speed...She then went home for dinner with her and met her "perfect family"...Also, Brenda got mildly assaulted by a raging male client...he shoved her against the wall twice and then stormed out...She was freaked out...Then, after dinner with the perfect family, she made dinner for Nate and Maya and wanted them to be like a "real family"...During the dinner, she had one of those imaginings of Nate yelling at her, telling her that she would never be a "Suzy Homemaker" type...but he was just sitting there eating...I think he said, "But we are a real family..."
Billy's acting oddly, as he's off his meds...He has convinced Claire that they should move to Spain...Claire has been cut off from her
inheritance since she quit school and she found this out while trying to purchase a camera...She blew up at Ruth...Billy ended up buying all kinds of stuff for their trip...a camera for each of them...
David and Keith were all set to adopt a kid, but it came to light that David's romp in Vegas with the male prostitute in the parking lot was on his criminal record...even though Keith thought it was expunged...They had a spat and then decided to go with the surrogate and then had "make-up" sex...
THE END
*****
You've been Hilton-ized!
What a horrible time to be alive! "That's Hot", "You're Fired!", "You've been Punk'd!", "You've been X'd"...Now, they're going to be Hilton-ized... So I watched this "I Want to be a Hilton" last night...Wow! It's come to this...I guess we asked for it...They chose a bunch of people who couldn't possibly function in "high society"...but that's good television...There was a moment near the end of the episode that qualifies as the most uncomfortable I've felt watching someone embarrass themselves in quite a while...(Tana on the last "Apprentice" going all hip hop for that TV show challenge is a close second...) I watched as Kathy Hilton asked if anyone had any questions or comments and Anne began to sing "Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this..." I actually covered my face with my hands I was so uncomfortable...Everyone went silent and you could have heard crickets if there were any present...I'll probably tune in next week though...Fuck!!!...I hate what I've been reduced to...
So anyway, check out the new issue of "Esquire" magazine. I initially bought it for the article on Stern, but there's a lot of good stuff in there...most notably, Billy Bob Thornton's revelation that:
Sex doesn't have to be with a model to be good. As a matter of fact, sometimes with the model, the actress, the "sexiest person in the world," it may be literally like fucking the couch...
Please read this not-so-blind item from yesterday's news... I heard it on Howard Stern's show yesterday and thought it was pretty funny...His show's been awesome these days...Today's secret words were chocolate teabag or bandit mask and they were trying to figure out who left an unclaimed package in the latrine...and it seems that there is good news on the horizon for satellite radio here in Canada.
In other news...
My good buddy, Big Mikey - a wall of a man with a huge heart - sent me a message that contained the following incredible, yet long-forgotten quote related to something that had upset him:
...From hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.
Khan, "Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan" (1982)
Thanks, Mikey...That's a such a great line!...Especially for greeting cards...
Like a Kid in a Candy Store?
I went to "the candy store" during my lunch break today and I guess the phrase "like a kid in a candy store..." refers to yelling at the top of your lungs while running up and down the aisles...There were about six little kids with two adults...but it seemed like a lot more kids...It would have been perfect for a headache commercial. I knew that they would calm down once they were given their "fix"...They left, scrambling for their particular item from the woman in charge of wrangling them...The young lady behind the counter told me that experiences like that make her seriously consider not having kids...(That used to be my kind of woman)...
Anyway, the reason I went to the store is that it's this lady's birthday in Calgary...Alberta...Canada...We talk almost every day...mostly for work. She’s nice and we have a lot in common…and I know that she likes chocolate, so I thought I'd go take a look during my lunch break... Ahhhh!...
(I was reminded of how the expression "Selling Like Hotcakes" also proved to be different than what I thought it meant when they were selling hotcakes at school for a fund raiser once and nobody wanted none of it...)
Six Feet Under
This show has managed to maintain what made it good in the first place...which is rare, as this is its fifth and final season...My one criticism though, is that although it's such a bold and innovative show, the main women are still shown having sex with their tops on...their breasts covered...The latest episode discussed body image issues, but I think it has more to do with the main characters not wanting to expose themselves...It's not a big deal, but I didn't think that women had sex with their tops on...I guess I've been doing it wrong all these years gettin' 'em neked...I guess if they're wearing a nighty, then they could just pull it up, do the deed and get on with stuff...but it makes it seem so boring...I know Rachel Griffiths has no problem with toplessness... (see her bio)...
This week's episode of "Six Feet Under" in a nutshell...(I had already written it out for someone, so here it is...)
It opened with George as a boy watching his mother commit suicide in front of him...She told him to stay home from school and then she made him this shitty-looking sandwich which he put in his pocket...he continued to be messed up throughout the episode...Ruth found food in various stages of decomposition in his pockets while doing laundry...George's daughter and Nate shared a moment of loss...her child died at 2 years of age to leukemia...George went to the grocery store alone and began talking with a young mother and had a flashback of his mom...it was the anniversary of her death...He confided in his daughter that he might need more voltage...
Federico went to a Catholic singles night and saw his wife there...she told him to move on...later, he went to a funeral conference and met up with Angela (played by Illeana Douglas)...she replaced him when he went to the work for the competition for a while...Anyway, she admired his work and they ended up having sex...the next day, she told him that she had a boyfriend...
Brenda was dealing with a young girl with body image issues...Brenda also found out that her co-worker (played by Anne Ramsay ...not to be confused with Anne Ramsey......incidentally, I wracked my brain trying to figure out where I knew her from... As it turns out, it's Mad About You...I had tried to erase it from my mind, I guess) used to be fat, but got thin using speed...She then went home for dinner with her and met her "perfect family"...Also, Brenda got mildly assaulted by a raging male client...he shoved her against the wall twice and then stormed out...She was freaked out...Then, after dinner with the perfect family, she made dinner for Nate and Maya and wanted them to be like a "real family"...During the dinner, she had one of those imaginings of Nate yelling at her, telling her that she would never be a "Suzy Homemaker" type...but he was just sitting there eating...I think he said, "But we are a real family..."
Billy's acting oddly, as he's off his meds...He has convinced Claire that they should move to Spain...Claire has been cut off from her
inheritance since she quit school and she found this out while trying to purchase a camera...She blew up at Ruth...Billy ended up buying all kinds of stuff for their trip...a camera for each of them...
David and Keith were all set to adopt a kid, but it came to light that David's romp in Vegas with the male prostitute in the parking lot was on his criminal record...even though Keith thought it was expunged...They had a spat and then decided to go with the surrogate and then had "make-up" sex...
THE END
*****
You've been Hilton-ized!
What a horrible time to be alive! "That's Hot", "You're Fired!", "You've been Punk'd!", "You've been X'd"...Now, they're going to be Hilton-ized... So I watched this "I Want to be a Hilton" last night...Wow! It's come to this...I guess we asked for it...They chose a bunch of people who couldn't possibly function in "high society"...but that's good television...There was a moment near the end of the episode that qualifies as the most uncomfortable I've felt watching someone embarrass themselves in quite a while...(Tana on the last "Apprentice" going all hip hop for that TV show challenge is a close second...) I watched as Kathy Hilton asked if anyone had any questions or comments and Anne began to sing "Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this..." I actually covered my face with my hands I was so uncomfortable...Everyone went silent and you could have heard crickets if there were any present...I'll probably tune in next week though...Fuck!!!...I hate what I've been reduced to...
So anyway, check out the new issue of "Esquire" magazine. I initially bought it for the article on Stern, but there's a lot of good stuff in there...most notably, Billy Bob Thornton's revelation that:
Sex doesn't have to be with a model to be good. As a matter of fact, sometimes with the model, the actress, the "sexiest person in the world," it may be literally like fucking the couch...
I'll leave you with a message I got today...
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY.... Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
If you can't be cool, be careful...
Your Pal,
posted by Zambo at 12:03 AM
3 Comments:
Good post buddy. I'm glad to hear that Mikey's still out there...somewhere...plotting.
I wish I knew about that Hilton show when they were auditioning. I'd go just to try to butterscotch the sisters asses. Wouldn't that be so cool to fuck with Paris cuz she's so dumb..."...yeah...sure...uh huh...you're hot...right, look, I want you to buy me a car...now shut up and suck the juice outta my butt".
Hey, did you make that bull-man w/cock and cock feet statue? I like it.
All I can taste today is steak and sour cream. It's fucking awesome.
We both went for the foods that rhyme last night and I think that has made all the difference: steak and cake...
As for that bull statue...he's a bit "light in the lap" to be one of mine...I was thinking of making a large sculpture, though, and the bull-man would actually be that figure's genitalia...It would be a play on Drew Carey's dick joke, "My dick has a dick and its dick is bigger than your dick"...Just a work-in-progress...
Your pal in the bunker,
The former sculptor formerly known as Zambo.
In keeping with the "dick" theme of these comments, the quote from Khan is from:
"Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! And since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville's "Moby Dick"...
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