A Day Off!
Today is Victoria Day in Canada, the meaning of which seems far less significant than it perhaps once was. It is affectionately referred to as “May Two-Four”... (coincidentally, a case of beer is also referred to as a “Two-Four” and there is a loose connection in that sense). Anyway, it’s a day off work and I’m glad to have it. I’m sure that tomorrow people will be eager to share tales of how much beer they drank, and some will be victims of early onset melanoma, as it’s the first holiday of sunny weather around here. Sadly, much of my weekend was spent doing work around the house though (plumbing and yard work, mostly).
But there's was nothing planned for today and since I don’t often get the chance to watch daytime TV, I took this opportunity to watch "Oprah Winfrey". Usually, if I’m off work on a weekday, I have something specific to do…or on the rare occasion that I call in sick, I usually watch DVDs…Anyway, Tom Cruise, 42, was the guest today, promoting his new film, , "War of the Worlds". I have to admit that I like Oprah. But I am, however, aware of the power that she wields over many "desperate houswives" everywhere (and not the hot kind you see on ABC's hit series). The Onion posted an article on September 9th, 1998, expressing a similar concern:
OPRAH VIEWERS PATIENTLY AWAITING INSTRUCTIONS
CHICAGO, IL–With nearly three weeks having passed since talk-show host Oprah Winfrey last issued an official command, approximately 60 million Oprah Winfrey Show viewers are on standby,...
I don’t know Mr. Cruise personally, but it seems that his heart is in the right place, I guess. He was telling Oprah how he’s in love with Katie Holmes, 26,(look for Katie in "Batman Begins" this summer!) and how even though one of his children is “bi-racial”, he doesn’t really see colour. Oprah said something about his son being of a different race, and Tom said that we’re all part of the human race…and the crowd went wild. Like when Emeril uses garlic. They did a little segue into mentioning Steven [Spielberg] and Kate [Capshaw]’s “bi-racial” daughter. Everyone applauded or laughed at pretty much everything Tom said. No wonder Rosie O'Donnell was so in love with him. He's apparently irresistable. The women seemed to be awaiting his every word. At one point a man shouted out something about meeting Katie Holmes and Cruise said, shocked, “There’s a guy here!?!” There was a brief pre-taped snippet from Steven Spielberg himself, who was sorry that he couldn’t be there live, but he was busy with the project. Dakota Fanning also chimed in from Australia to let us know how great it was to work with Tom Cruise on "War of the Worlds" . (She's a good little actress, but it’s sorta creepy how mature she is...like a little adult. She’s 11 years old and has already appeared in 18 feature films!).
Oprah then told us that Premier has named Tom Cruise “The Greatest Living Movie Star Of All Time”. That's a bold statement to make, but good for him, I guess.
Then there was a segment about a “regular guy” who also has the name "Tom Cruise". His wife sent in a tape, asking if it would be possible for him to meet the famous Tom Cruise. The wife, in her video request, said that when she pays by cheque (check), the cashier usually makes a comment and her stock reply is: “If he were the real Tom Cruise, I wouldn’t be shopping here”. The “regular guy” Tom Cruise seems pretty well adjusted, all things considered. He got his first sales job by simply submitting a letter, saying: “How would you like to meet Tom Cruise?” (This got his foot in the door and I would assume that he earned the job based on the subsequent interview). He made a joke that I’m sure he’s said many, many times before when people ask, “Where’s the real Tom Cruise?” “I am the real Tom Cruise…just not the rich, famous, good-looking one.” Oprah smiled, then directed him to his seat in a dismissive fashion and cut to commercial. After the break, Oprah showed us the new pix of Tom Cruise (the real one) in the upcoming issue of Details magazine. The “regular guy” Tom Cruise said, “that’s not me” from his front row audience seat. People chuckled, but the sense was that his time was up. It must be difficult to deal with sharing a name with a celebrity. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) I don’t think that I will ever know what that’s like…unless either of my two cousins - with the same name as me – suddenly become famous. My name is a bit unusual and difficult to spell and pronounce I guess…
Anyway, the "24" season finale is on…So I’d better get going. It's very addictive like crack, I imagine...but to a lesser degree...After that, "The Shield" is on, but this season is already on DVD...Sometimes it sucks getting the hand-me-downs from our big brother to the south, but at least we had today off!
Your Pal,
Zambo.
But there's was nothing planned for today and since I don’t often get the chance to watch daytime TV, I took this opportunity to watch "Oprah Winfrey". Usually, if I’m off work on a weekday, I have something specific to do…or on the rare occasion that I call in sick, I usually watch DVDs…Anyway, Tom Cruise, 42, was the guest today, promoting his new film, , "War of the Worlds". I have to admit that I like Oprah. But I am, however, aware of the power that she wields over many "desperate houswives" everywhere (and not the hot kind you see on ABC's hit series). The Onion posted an article on September 9th, 1998, expressing a similar concern:
OPRAH VIEWERS PATIENTLY AWAITING INSTRUCTIONS
CHICAGO, IL–With nearly three weeks having passed since talk-show host Oprah Winfrey last issued an official command, approximately 60 million Oprah Winfrey Show viewers are on standby,...
I don’t know Mr. Cruise personally, but it seems that his heart is in the right place, I guess. He was telling Oprah how he’s in love with Katie Holmes, 26,(look for Katie in "Batman Begins" this summer!) and how even though one of his children is “bi-racial”, he doesn’t really see colour. Oprah said something about his son being of a different race, and Tom said that we’re all part of the human race…and the crowd went wild. Like when Emeril uses garlic. They did a little segue into mentioning Steven [Spielberg] and Kate [Capshaw]’s “bi-racial” daughter. Everyone applauded or laughed at pretty much everything Tom said. No wonder Rosie O'Donnell was so in love with him. He's apparently irresistable. The women seemed to be awaiting his every word. At one point a man shouted out something about meeting Katie Holmes and Cruise said, shocked, “There’s a guy here!?!” There was a brief pre-taped snippet from Steven Spielberg himself, who was sorry that he couldn’t be there live, but he was busy with the project. Dakota Fanning also chimed in from Australia to let us know how great it was to work with Tom Cruise on "War of the Worlds" . (She's a good little actress, but it’s sorta creepy how mature she is...like a little adult. She’s 11 years old and has already appeared in 18 feature films!).
Oprah then told us that Premier has named Tom Cruise “The Greatest Living Movie Star Of All Time”. That's a bold statement to make, but good for him, I guess.
Then there was a segment about a “regular guy” who also has the name "Tom Cruise". His wife sent in a tape, asking if it would be possible for him to meet the famous Tom Cruise. The wife, in her video request, said that when she pays by cheque (check), the cashier usually makes a comment and her stock reply is: “If he were the real Tom Cruise, I wouldn’t be shopping here”. The “regular guy” Tom Cruise seems pretty well adjusted, all things considered. He got his first sales job by simply submitting a letter, saying: “How would you like to meet Tom Cruise?” (This got his foot in the door and I would assume that he earned the job based on the subsequent interview). He made a joke that I’m sure he’s said many, many times before when people ask, “Where’s the real Tom Cruise?” “I am the real Tom Cruise…just not the rich, famous, good-looking one.” Oprah smiled, then directed him to his seat in a dismissive fashion and cut to commercial. After the break, Oprah showed us the new pix of Tom Cruise (the real one) in the upcoming issue of Details magazine. The “regular guy” Tom Cruise said, “that’s not me” from his front row audience seat. People chuckled, but the sense was that his time was up. It must be difficult to deal with sharing a name with a celebrity. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) I don’t think that I will ever know what that’s like…unless either of my two cousins - with the same name as me – suddenly become famous. My name is a bit unusual and difficult to spell and pronounce I guess…
Anyway, the "24" season finale is on…So I’d better get going. It's very addictive like crack, I imagine...but to a lesser degree...After that, "The Shield" is on, but this season is already on DVD...Sometimes it sucks getting the hand-me-downs from our big brother to the south, but at least we had today off!
Your Pal,
Zambo.
posted by Zambo at 6:47 PM
2 Comments:
The funniest thing you wrote was how Oprah dismissively saw that "non celebrity Cruise" to his seat. She seems cool at times, you know... genuinely concerned about the fate of the planet and people and everything, but then she goes and does something like that and you realize that her bread and butter comes from kissing the asses of celebrities (who in turn have to kiss her ass) and that she really has nothing in common with the dirties anymore. That fat, bloated bitch!
I’m a bit conflicted about Oprah. She often plays the “I know where I came from” card…with a “girlfriend” this and a “girlfriend” that…She can cripple the Texas beef industry with a single utterance…(See Texas Cattlemen v. Oprah Winfrey)…We also know that she could spend her off-hours skeet shooting Fabergé eggs as quickly as they can produce them…Picture, if you will, a diminutive man with thick glasses putting the finishing touches on one of the sought-after objets d’art…then he slowly shuffles over to Oprah and delicately hands the precious egg over to her…She inspects it, flashing him an approving smile and then dismisses him like you would a butler…Then she shows it to her adoring fans, who are corralled behind a cordoned off designated area…She holds it over her head, cradled in both hands…They go crazy as though the Beatles are about to perform…She then puts on her designer glasses, tinted yellow, and lobs the egg up, way up…as it slowly spins in the air, end over end, she levels her shotgun and shoots from the hip…her teeth grit and her body gives a good jiggle…The egg explodes into small fragments of gold and jewels… People violently scramble to own or ingest a piece of something their Oprah has annihilated…She hands off the rifle to some underling without even looking at him…then she puts her hands on her hips, drawing in a deep breath…
But on the other hand, I fondly recall the time Oprah wheeled out a little red wagon of animal fat in a clear plastic bag, the equivalent of the weight she had lost (70 lbs., I believe) when she was thin for that day…She eventually ballooned up again…but I believe that her body is better suited to being “thick” as the kids say…When she was skinny, her head looked too big. (The way Star Jones has just lost a bunch of “the weight”…(she’s still nowhere near thin, mind you)…and now her head looks all out of proportion…like a Guinea Pig sorta…).
I think we all wish we could have some of what Letterman refers to as “Oprah money”…Her wealth and apparent powers make us want to hate her, but I just can’t…
More Cruise info:
Katie Holmes once told “Seventeen” magazine that she hoped to one day marry Tom Cruise…
Stern really tore into Cruise’s appearance on Oprah, and the fact that he [Cruise] was so surprised to be in love…with a woman. (I neglected to mention that he kept standing on the couch...because he's so much in love...)
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