Brace Yourselves For A Journey Into My Head!

Greetings Friends, Random Visitors and Quirky Lurkers.

I hope things are running smoothly for you as you read this.

So I’m starting to realize that I’m not the guy I once was…It’s not so much that I’m “half the man I used to be”, but maybe ¾...My life is pretty much half over...(or half started, for all the optimists out there). Anyway, if you double my current age and take into account my current lack of ambition, then when I'm twice this age I'm pretty much gonna be fucked right up...I guess maybe I'm going through one of those mid-life crisis things, perhaps a bit prematurely...

A pal recently asked, “Remember when Zambo used to be fun?”…It’s so true…I did used to be so much more fun, I think…I've definitely softened over the years (physically and personality-wise). In fact, I saw “Must Love Dogs” last week and I actually enjoyed it…I know there was a time when I would have refused to even watch such a film...I'm not really sure what all this means, but I do know that I have changed a few things about myself, partly to please my mate, Lasagna...and partly for my own good. Though it's cheesy, she really does make me want to be a better man...(See "As Good As It Gets"...Not that I was a that bad of a guy before...and she's not an intolerable hag, like Helen Hunt...but you get the idea, I hope...It's kinda like that old saying that goes something like: Women stay with men hoping to change them and men stay with women hoping they'll stay the same)...

Anyway, my room, when I lived alone in my condo, used to look like this...



Now most of these items are in boxes in the basement of our house...My office is pretty boring at the moment...I've been thinking about getting some sort of cabinet to display some of my stuff...I just haven't gotten around to it yet...A lot of those toys were from my childhood, though I did acquire a few here and there over the years...I also have a lot of "still-in-the-package" stuff that's supposedly worth more if/when you decide to sell it one day...(Like in "The 40 Year Old Virgin" ...except I was in my 20s and pulling tonnes of chix with my disarming smile and unusual charm...Well maybe not tonnes...)...We have a few rooms in the house that are mine. I'm "allowed" to do whatever I want in those rooms (within reason)...It's weird to say something like that, but I guess it's all part of the compromise. Lasagna doesn't like too much clutter or "junk", so I respect that. Plus, if I'm not reined in a little, things can get out of hand...(My TV room, or home theater, has some toys in it, two mannequins and a stuffed tiger that growls ~ plush, not real)...

Anyway, I was thinking of my pal "Timmy" the other day. He was a really nice guy. (I'm sure he still is, but I haven't seen him in a while)...He used to say that visiting my room was like a journey into my head... and that it scared him a little...We met through a friend of the family's...My dad was in the army with a guy and his son was friends with Timmy...We became good pals right away. When I went off to University, I got a call during Frosh Week. It was Timmy and as it turned out, he was living in my residence, a floor above me. We had a lot of good times and when we finished school we were in a bit of a funk and had no real direction in life...His cute girlfriend had dumped him and he had no real hobbies, so he would joke around about driving into a bridge abutment...Thankfully he never did. And when he finally landed a sweet job, cute girlfriend was open for business again. They eventually got married and I went to their wedding. Then we lost touch and we sorta went our separate ways...Then the son of my dad's army buddy got married, and Timmy and his cute wife were seated at our table. Things seemed different though. Though he looked good, he had the posture of a defeated man. Like what Bruce Springsteen describes as "like a dog that's been beat too much"...(See "Born in the USA"). They made a bit of a fuss about the vegetarian menu they had requested. (He's apparently a vegetarian now...because she is very health conscious, I suspect...and he would do anything for her...See "Pulp Fiction"..."My girlfriend's a vegetarian, so that pretty much makes me a vegetarian too")...Not that there's anything wrong with being a vegetarian (DaVinci was one in the 1500s)...if it's something you do for yourself...But I suspect that she imposed her will upon him. He's very passive...Though she's cute. She's not that cute. Anyway, I got his e-mail address and contacted him a few times, but he was going through a job transition and blah, blah, blah...So I haven't seen him since...I hope he's OK. And his cute wife too.

I always liked the story he told me about guys and girls and relationships...(I know he didn't make it up, but I liked the way he told it)...

So there's this dog. He's having a good old time running around and chasing butterflies. He happens across a fine looking bone between frolicking and laying around. So he picks up the bone and begins to prance around, pretty pleased with himself. It's probably the best bone he's ever seen. He feels that he is the luckiest dog in the world ('cause he lives for the moment). He walks up to a river and he sees his reflection in the water...(but he doesn't really understand the concept of reflections and thinks that it's another dog with a bone that's just as good ~ maybe better ~ than his. He admires the bone for a moment, but he tries to show off his bone too. The river dog, matches his move, and his bone is sublime! The dog finally can't take it anymore, so he reaches for the better bone, dropping his in the process...The bone is washed away forever and the dog is left standing there...boneless...

I believe the story is meant to illustrate that (some) men are a lot like dogs and that they often don't know how good they have it. They often throw away what they have for the projected idea of something better. (And I think the bone may have something to do with erectile dysfunction, but I forget...I also forget where the story originated, but I like it).

So...I think that's it for the moment. I had saved this as a draft, hoping to polish it up a bit before posting, but it probably never would have gotten posted at the rate I'm going lately...

Take care out there, folks!

I'm off to test drive convertible sports cars.

Your Pal,

Zambo.

I Have Returned...

Hey Blogger Pals!

I hope you're doing well out there!

So for the last two weekends I invested most of my time at scuba training…Saturday 9-9 the first weekend and 9-5 the second one...and Sundays about 8-5. It was kinda exhausting, but really cool. I didn’t particularly enjoy having to read the text book and to do the written stuff, but it was totally worthwhile. We had to do chapter review quizzes and a final exam. You need at least 80% to pass (but I guess no one really “fails”). My class was composed of mostly really pretty young women. There were five women, two guys (one looked like an underwear model and the other was an average-looking fellow) and me…our instructor was male…I felt old, being surrounded by these young pretty people, but what can you do, right? I learned a lot of cool stuff. Also, if you learn to dive in cold water, then you can dive pretty much anywhere in the world (within reason, of course) because we encounter some of the worst conditions diving here in cold, murky water. The 'average guy' in my class wanted to dive here with his girlfriend, but she was certified to dive in Australia…so she would have to get certified here in order to dive…

Anyway, the practical part in the pool was pretty cool, especially after sitting in a stuffy classroom all day. (Also, the girls wore bikinis…but I remained focused). The open water dives took place last weekend in two area quarries…and when we were certified, there was an optional dive in the Niagara River…It was really quite amazing! We got to go down and look at a shipwreck! My group was given a tour by the instructor, and got to see all of the wreckage…

I recently talked to a friend about watching boxing after watching ultimate fighting. I compared it to going back to Playboy after watching porn from Denmark. (Basically, you really can’t go back, unless you really enjoy the articles…If you’ve never experienced Danish porn, consider yourself lucky. It could haunt your dreams). She thought that was pretty funny. Anyway, once you’ve done scuba, it kinda makes snorkeling seem like…well…less awesome…(but I will still enjoy snorkeling, I’m sure)…

Don’t worry. I’m not gonna become “scuba dude” or something like that…or get a bumper sticker that says something like “SCUBA DIVERS GO DOWN LONGER”…or whatever…I have known guys who have defined themselves by something that they’re into at the moment…For instance, a guy I once knew who went skydiving (once I think), set up his e-mail as skydiver@whatever.com. Another guy I knew appeared as an extra in a film in a Jacuzzi scene, and his e-mail address became jacuzziguy@whatever.com…Interestingly, I discovered that like other niche activities, there is a whole subculture of “scuba geeks” out there. They have personalized licence plates like “DIVER” or “DIVE DUDE”, etc. They tend to have really cool gear and some have attained the title of “Dive Master”…I didn’t realize that such groups existed, but they seem like good folks nonetheless. I guess I never really thought of divers as regular people...mostly I thought of cool undersea explorers like Jacques Cousteau or Navy SEALs...

So I went to my folks' place after the river dive on Sunday and my mom gave me this article, because I told her I was getting my scuba certification...

Divers Rescued From Niagara River
Erie County Sheriff’s Department Investigating Circumstances of Dive

OSPREY NEWS NETWORK
BUFFALO, N.Y.
A group of scuba divers from Fort Erie were rescued by the Coast Guard Sunday [July 23] after they ran into trouble in the strong currents of the Niagara River. The Coast Guard and the Erie County Sheriff’s Marine Unit were called out to rescue one diver and assist several others near the Peace Bridge. The 13 divers, mostly student divers from Fort Erie, entered the water on the Canadian side of the river. Buffalo police say John Silva, of Fort Erie, was the first to be plucked from the river. Rescue boats then assisted the other divers, pulling them out of the water in various stages of distress. No injuries were reported. The Erie County Sheriff is now investigating the circumstances of the dive.

(It should be noted that Blogger wouldn't allow me to post the scanned article, so I had to type it out. Thanks, Blogger! Missed you).

...Little did she know that I would be diving in that very spot a week later...but with better results...If she had known I would be there, she would have been worried sick...and if I had known about this incident, I might have been a little concerned too, I guess...

~oOo~

In other news, behold the mighty Achilles!

He’s not that big, but he’s got lots of moxie.

He’s powerful and can strike swiftly, but he’s also a gentle and loving fellow.

We weren’t really planning on getting a cat right now, but there were extenuating circumstances. This guy Lasagna works with was outside the building, when a car drove by and its occupant threw a backpack out of the window. So the aforementioned guy went up to see what it was (not noticing any details about the car, but was most likely thinking, “Hey! Free bag!”)…Anyway, as he approached it, he noticed it was moving and when he opened it, there was little Achilles. He was a bit malnourished, but otherwise OK according to the vet. So Lasagna called me at work and asked if we could keep him…(It’s a good thing I said yes, because the Humane society was full and not taking any more animals…If I had said no, they would have kept him as a mascot at Lasagna’s work)…He’s a cute little guy, and surprisingly affectionate for what he’s been through. He’s a lot more exciting than Lasagna’s guinea pig, Freddie…(Who we “inherited” ‘cause Lasagna’s friend’s husband was highly allergic)…Maybe there will be a helper monkey that we can adopt soon…

Anyway, that's all I got right now, but I'm gonna try to make the rounds soon and visit with all my Blogger Buddies...I'm very far behind...

Take care out there!

Your Pal,

Zambo.