Desert Islands and Getting Tagged...

Hello Folks.

I’ve been away from Blogsville for a while...but I’m back! I hope you didn’t miss me too much.

Recently, a lady I know asked me a "hypothetical lost on a desert island question." The scenario is as follows:

You’re going to be left on an isolated island in the middle of nowhere, with no chance of ever leaving it. You may take only one person, living or dead, to live there with you for the rest of your respective natural lives. Who would you choose?

I asked a few follow-up questions. You can take the person at any point in their life…(like Elvis in his prime), but you are the age that you are now. A lot of people just answer immediately with Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt or some other good-looking celebrity…without really thinking it through. But I was thinking about the long run. Even though it’s all hypothetical, I have to answer it to the best of my ability for some reason. (The lady who asked me the question chose Jesus, by the way…and we discussed that choice a bit. We addressed some controversial aspects of his life story…which I won’t go into here).

Wouldn’t it be nice to spend time with a great thinker, or someone who would be “entertaining”? But after a bit of thinking and some further discussion, I realized that there are several undeniable “needs” that would have to be addressed after all the discussions run out. It would probably have to be someone of the opposite sex. But who? Choosing our current mate seems like a good answer at first. But by doing so you are, in essence, taking him/her away from the world we know...to live on this deserted island with you. That’s probably not fair to him/her.

If you choose to take Hitler when he was a child, you could impact world history and save many lives…but you’d have to live with him for the rest of your life (or his). Perhaps you could affect his development in a positive way. This would be “taking one for the team” in a big way, I guess.

If you took Leonardo DaVinci as a young man, this could affect the way he would develop as an artist and thinker ~ and it could change the course of art history. If I were a gay man, he might be my first choice. I have been facscinated with him for so long…even before Dan Brown told us how interesting he was/is…He was such a great thinker and it would be amazing to spend time with him. (I’d have to learn Italian though). Also, given his history, he kept a lot of his ideas a secret and his “notebooks” were brimming with all sorts of cool stuff (though some of his ideas were incorrect or implausible, it’s still pretty damn cool). “The richness and originality of intellect in his notebooks reveal one of the great minds of all time.” Many accounts indicate that Leonardo was a gay vegetarian in the 1500s. That alone would be interesting to address. Some accounts indicate that he remained celibate after a rather public and humiliating accusation of homosexual behaviour seemed to scar him for the rest of his life, probably contributing to his paranoia and secrecy. Personally, I don’t really know if I could sacrifice sex for knowledge. (That’s always been a weakness…possibly my downfall. I'm not sure I could be swayed in my orientation, but I've seen enough "Oz" to know that one should never say never). He was an architect and a botanist among other things…Which would be helpful on an island. Yet he didn’t really get much done, all things considered. According to Giorgio Vasari’s “Lives of The Artists”, Leonardo said, “…men of genius sometimes accomplish more when they work the least; for, he added, they are thinking out inventions and forming in their minds the perfect ideas which they subsequently express and reproduce with their hands.” This would be bad. Nothing would ever get done and we’d probably starve to death, shivering. (Not that I'm a "genius"...just lazy)...

Any historical figure that you choose will be a gamble, because it would be like a blind date…’til you die. Of course it’s all just hypothetical. Plus, a lot of “entertaining” people can be introverts or assholes in their personal lives. I used to think that Peter Sellers was so awesome. But then I saw that movie “The Life and Death of Peter Sellers”. Man. Though it shouldn’t affect the work he did, his personal life now does play a factor. Should it? For instance, if I didn’t know anything about Bono, could I actually like U2’s music? Too many hypotheticals…

Anyway, if you don’t choose your current partner to go to the island with you, then this should lead you to wonder why you’re him/her in the first place…or not. I’m beginning to think that my current mate, Lasagna, would be my choice. We’ve been through a lot of stuff together over the years and we’ve chosen to be together “in the real world”…so why not on the island? We work well together and we’re good friends. I’d have to ask her if that would be OK with her…hypothetically, of course. If she wouldn’t want to go with me, then I’d have to take someone else…Maybe Jessica Simpson? Nah. If my penis ever stopped working, I’d probably have to take my own life. To be honest, I might consider someone pretty, but not as dumb as Jessica Simpson…Maybe Natalie Portman or Christina Aguilera. They seem interesting. Maybe a pretty female doctor would be a smart choice. Maybe Ellen DeGeneres? She’s pretty funny, but then there’s that sex stuff again…Kelly Ripa? She’s quite cute and personable…Maybe a younger Martha Stewart would be a good choice. She’s pretty handy and, though some say she’s not very nice, I think I could win her over in time.

Colby from “Survivor” once said, “if ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a merry Christmas.”

Anyway, I’m still contemplating my answer.

*****

Meanwhile, I’ve been “tagged” by my pal, Ms. L. I have been asked to answer the following questions and then to ask five folks to do so as well:


What were you doing 10 years ago?

It was a day not unlike today. I was living in a condo, going to school, working part-time, dating…I was also into doing reckless, self-destructive things without really considering the consequences…My pal, the 8th dwarf, once mentioned, “Remember when Zambo used to be fun?" It seems like it was only yesterday, and yet it also seems so long ago…Weird…

What were you doing 1 year ago?

Lasagna and I had been living in our house for about two months and were getting stressed about holiday stuff. But we were looking forward to spending our future in our cool house…and we looked forward to using our pool! (Note: try to get a summer closing date if you buy a house with a pool. We moved in October and had to wait ‘til June to use the pool! But it was worth the wait)…

Five snacks you enjoy:

1. Anything covered in milk chocolate tends to be good (almonds, pretzels, peanuts);
2. Currently the “Lindt Advent calendar” that Lasagna got for me;
3. those crunchy, round red grapes. They’re good;
4. Roasted chestnuts! (They’re in season right now);
5. Cookies (soft chocolate chip or Oreos).
   

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:

1. Most Beatles songs. They have so many amazing songs;
2. Most Green Day songs;
3. The Big Mac jingle… “Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese...";
4. “Coward of the County” as performed by Kenny Rogers;
5. “Maybe Tomorrow” from “The Littlest Hobo”.

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1. Pay off debts (mine and my family’s and friends’…within reason of course);
2. Isolate myself from the world. Perhaps a ranch with its own fire department…But I would still try to be up-to-date with what the kids are into these days…(Like a well adjusted George Lucas/Michael Jackson-type set-up with much less creepiness…);
3. Build a bunker with a wicked theater and lots of water and lots of my favourite snacks (see above) and guns…lots of guns;
4. Depending on how many millions we’re talking here, I’d set up scenarios where people who claim that they can’t be bought…would be bought. They’d have to do all sorts of dehumanizing things to prove that they lied about “there’s no amount of money you could pay me to do that”…It would make “Fear Factor”, Bang Bus and Japanese game shows look like a walk in the park.
5. Initially, I thought about the “Two chix” angle, à la “Office Space”…but that’s just one of those fantasies that usually doesn’t live up to the hype…So…Six chix…at once…

Five Bad habits

1. Being lazy;
2. Having outrageously high standards (which often leads me to inaction);
3. Not getting enough sleep;
4. Avoiding Doctors and dentists;
5. Eating too much of the bad stuff too often (when coupled with 1 and 2 above, see “moment on the lips, lifetime on the hips”).
   

Five things you would never wear again:

1. Diapers (wishful thinking);
2. Loafers (hopefully);
3. School uniform (it doesn’t fit any more anyway);
4. Vests…(I never really liked vests for some reason…Especially ones made from real gorilla chests…Boo-urns!);
5. I guess white socks…I haven’t worn them in years…It’s not that I wouldn’t wear them again…just running out of things to list.

Five Favorite Toys:

1. Maskatron
2. Hogo
3. Laptop
4. Digital Camera
5. iPod Mini

So I did it. I would like to invite some pals to do it too...if you're interested.

I won't impose, or name names, but if you're a regular commenter, please feel free to answer these questions too.

*****

From 12.16.05

But not posted 'til now...

The Kings and I

If you ever can’t sleep, I’d suggest watching Harrison Ford on “Inside the Actors Studio”…send away for it if you can…it’s worth it…Though he’s been in many good, dare I say great, films, he just might be one of the most boring speakers of all time…I wonder what he and Calista (it means “most beautiful” in Greek) Flockhart discuss when they’re at home…Uh…never mind. Who cares?

Thursday night I crashed at The BeatDogg Estates, “A Place To Be Somebody”…We (and Joe Blow) decided to work the “Viet-Kong” combo, if you will…More “gorilla” than “guerilla”…some Vietnamese cuisine followed by a viewing of “King Kong”… The meal was tasty, as usual. Kong was like “Hulk” in many ways. It took a while to see the beast, but when you finally did, he was pretty awesome! Anyone who didn’t feel for the big gorilla as the story unfolded is one cold fish. You know how sometimes you know how something’s gonna end, yet you still have a glimmer of hope that it’s gonna be alright? Well, that was what happened here…I knew how it would end, but was still hopeful that it would all end in a “happily ever after” way… But alas, it was beauty killed the beast…Poor Ann (Naomi Watts) had to choose between the loveable and protective, but impractical Kong, and the asymmetrically-faced, but talented and brave, Jack Driscoll (Adrien Brody)…Luckily the choice was made for her.

Kong, though a computer-generated character, exhibits a range that puts a lot of the younger actors out there these days to shame. It’s interesting to see how a giant CG gorilla can manipulate us. Maybe they should use this technology to create a CG Keanu (which means "cool breeze over the mountains" in Hawaiian) that can act…Though the film is not without its flaws, Kong himself is nothing short of amazing. Here are two links about Andy Serkis, who played Gollum and Kong.


Friday was Howard Stern’s last live show on terrestrial radio. “Best of” will be played for the next few weeks and they start on SIRIUS on January 9th [not true]. As I mentioned, I stayed at the BeatDogg’s place…The station didn’t come in…So I got up early and sat in my car from about 6:15am until about 9am…Then I went in to work and watched the Yahoo! Live feed of the events. The main cast members gave speeches, then they took a bus to The Hard Rock…The Yahoo! Lady who was interviewing the Stern crew was “creeped upon” by Ronnie the limo driver…and to a lesser degree, Ralph “the fag” as they call him…They kept trying to get her to take her jacket off to see her chest…She seemed as uncomfortable as can be expected…Gary commented on the sexual misconduct as Ronnie was pawing at her jacket in a clumsy effort to get her to remove it…Stern and Fred behaved like gentlemen…Robin was good too…Martha Stewart welcomed Howard to SIRIUS. I think she was contractually obligated to do so…she didn’t seem to want to. She did manage to plug her station and to complain about the poor location she was given…Howard called her “honey” and perhaps “baby”…possibly “sweetheart” as well…That was kinda funny to me… Sheryl Crow performed two sets. Overall it was pretty good.